Patrick S. Tomlinson, Discover and Read the Best of Twitter Threads by @stealthygeek

Patrick S. Tomlinson

stealthygeek

[Aliens planning next wave of invasions]Alien 1: Fopulon V?Alien 2: Sure.A1: Xerkdeez Prime?A2: Absolutely. They have those amazing larva kabobs.A1: Awesome. Earth?A2: What? Absolutely not.A1: But [flips through notes] they're

So over on FB a particularly thick-headed comedian acquaintance who favors himself above politics was going off about how Rachel Maddow and Tucker Carlson are just two sides of the

Okay. Let's talk about "Conservative Comedy" shows. They all have one thing in common: Nearly instant failure. Remember the "Half Hour News Hour" that was supposed to compete with Jon

Here's what's going on. They moved Trump to Walter Reed while he could still walk, then shot him full of steroids to mask how bad the illness is so they

Thread time. Why, you might ask, is the Trump Campaign (and yes the entire GOP is just the Trump Campaign now) willing to risk prison time defying a federal judge

Gather 'round, everyone. I have a compromise.Progressives, you're going to stop pushing to #DefundThePolice. Let them keep their budgets. Work to change how the money is spent. IN EXCHANGE FOR...Republicans,

Okay. Truce time.Trumpers, if any of you can hear me, and I sincerely hope you can't... sorry, sorry. [Deep breath] if you can hear me, answer this question.Why do you

The problem with conversations surrounding "Law and Order" is that it means two distinctly different things to the two extremes, and they both want their own versionFor BLM and allies,

My following has demanded my story about 1,000 baby praying mantises. So, here we go. About fifteen years ago, I lived in Tampa Bay. If you've ever been, you know

Okay. So, thread time. This picture has been making me irrationally angry all day. Beyond the shitty trigger discipline and muzzle awareness. Beyond the fact they forgot their boat shoes.

ADHD is trending. I've been "diagnosed" with ADHD since I was 12 years old.It's not a disorder. The disorder exists in a society that bought the lie sitting motionlessly in

Total US gun homicides (2019):15,292.Total #COVID19 deaths (since Feb):97,906. In the three months since the outbreak started, folks were almost twenty-six times more likely to die from the virus than