assigned purple eyeshadow at birth, Discover and Read the Best of Twitter Threads by @Jenny_Trout

assigned purple eyeshadow at birth

Jenny_Trout

why did they execute people by chopping off their heads wouldn't it be easier to just hit the head itself? just thwank right through the brain? or at least the

Twitter! I have a story about dead mice! Hear ye and attend! I like dead things. I don't know why. I just do. I've had some amazing specimens over the

Okay, I'm high. So it's tell you a spooky Halloween story time. And a bunch of you have probably already heard it, so if you have, skip it. But it's

My cat is eating lasagna. This is incredible. This is everything I've ever wanted. She's a tiger cat, too. And so fat. Oh my god, it's real. Garfield is real.

"Masks are more dangerous because they rob you of oxygen!"Yeah, that's why we're always seeing headlines like, "Mask-related death toll spikes as every single nurse and doctor in the fucking

The only time putting Lysol into your body makes sense is if it's 1945, your husband is about to return from the war, and you just found out you're pregnant

Here's another mortifying thing I did once that haunts me when I can't sleep:http://jennytrout.com/?p=2213 My favorite part of that whole thing is that if I did that and my working-class