Here's another mortifying thing I did once that haunts me when I can't sleep: http://jennytrout.com/?p=2213 

My favorite part of that whole thing is that if I did that and my working-class grandparents knew about it, I would get the fly swatter. My grandparents who had "Pepsi in cans money" thought this was cute.

I've mentioned before that my childhood was kind of weird because I lived with my grandparents in a house where just a ton of people were always living there and moving in and out, very working class, a lot of survival shit like peas in milk for dinner.

But then on my dad's side, my grandparents had money AND guilt about him not being in my life/him knocking up my mom and not marrying her, which was shameful (this is the Orthodox side I'm talking about. The Catholic side was way cooler about my mom being a single mom.)

(I mean, definitely they were not cool about it, but the Orthodox side was way rougher. My great-grandfather was a priest and he was so ashamed of me that he didn't look at me or address me directly until I was THREE and he DIED THE NEXT DAY.)

But anyway, because my dad's parents felt guilty and I was the first grandkid and they just love kids in general, I used to get away with A LOT OF SHIT. Like opening a can of Pepsi, drinking half or even just a few sips of it, then leaving it out and wasting it.

At my house, with my grandpa working two jobs and my mom working in a factory AND going to college, sharing a bed with my mom in a room with her sister, let me tell you.

There was NO WASTING PEPSI.

IF we had Pepsi, it was a two-litre and that's because it was extra from Christmas or some shit. So, I divide income levels on a Pepsi scale.