first-mate prance, Discover and Read the Best of Twitter Threads by @bocxtop

first-mate prance

bocxtop

there’s no way landlord should be considered an actual job “oh ur a doctor? nice i threaten ppl poorer than me with homelessness and never fix the shower” and they

i got this job two weeks ago and I am going to be fucking fired I WAS COPYING THAT LINK TO SHOW @avantnard THE VIDEO CUZ ITS FUNNY BUT I

9/11 tmrw I just wanna say never forget. Never Forget that 3000 people died during that tragedy and it changed our country forever while 150 thousand+ ppl have died from

finding out Obama wasn’t actually a good President was probably one of the darkest moments of my life “no no yeah I knew he was still droning people I totally

i tutor hs juniors in coding and today we were making a messaging app and i needed a name for a user so a kid said "try jeff" and i

My dad passed one year ago around this time so if y'all dont mind im just gonna talk about him and stuff I’ve thought about in the time since he

if u were a “gifted kid” and now ur a below average adult I’m sorry to tell but u were never gifted u just went to school with raccoons Yeah

the Salem witch trials was actually the first hot girl summer personally if I found out my wife was a witch, dude like me would’ve asked her to use her

people on twitter wake up and write their sentences like: today I had oatm*eal and h** co*fe* for b******* STOP SAYING COVFEFE STOP IT THIS IS A “The Resistance” free

was FaceTiming this girl and her smoke detector went off, she said oh it’s been making that noise for months. God her pussy has got to be incredible How is

guys think that a girl being bisexual means she’ll have a threesome with them and her hot friend when it just means that occasionally she’ll make the mistake of having

Lmk waiting for the centrists to get here and tell me all babies matter