My dad passed one year ago around this time so if y'all dont mind im just gonna talk about him and stuff I’ve thought about in the time since he left, he liked attention (shocking I kno) so i’m sure he’d be excited at me telling his story to so many people but yea anyways

b4 I get into it I’d like to pause and just say that thru this my mom was and is superhuman, ngl she did everything for my family and did all the emotional labor of raising three boys while ALSO getting two master’s degrees and now working on her doctorate. So yea much love

so yeah my dad was born in Kwande, Nigeria and he had to swim a couple miles to school every morning cuz there was a river between his village and the local schools. But he did it everyday cuz education was so important to him wish I had that kinda ambition tbh lmao

Also he was like really fucking smart, he went to a really small school in the middle of the country but eventually graduated top of his class in Industrial Chemistry and was the first from his village to get a big time job in Lagos, which is the biggest city in Nigeria

he met my mom there while he was also a part-time Dj his name was DJ FM original i know, Anywyas they had me and my brother shortly after that. Not gonna lie and say the times were always good. He had a lot of demons from his childhood and he dealt with it by drinking and working

I think that a therapist could’ve really done him wonders and helped him process stuff in a healthy way, probably would’ve helped his marriage too but there’s a lot of work to be done with getting Black men especially African men to be willing to go to therapy

Anyways we moved to the states in 2007 and this is where I actually like met him ykno, found out he was a huge kobe fan even tho like he was NOT good at ball lmao idk what his favorite song necessarily was but he fucking loved Believe by Cher Hahahha

I remember him crying and singing when Obama won I think that was the first time I saw him cry and it was so strange I literally did not understand what I was looking at so then I started crying too, it was a mess man

tbh like I don’t know a lot about my dad and I didn’t realize that until he passed, he deff didn’t know a lot about me either tho that’s one of the biggest regrets forsure, but luckily before he passed we were more friendly than we had been when I was younger

so yea by this time in 2019 I hadn’t seen him in person in a couple years as he had returned to Nigeria cuz America’s immigration system is horrific but our relationship had been so much better so that was a little silver lining. Distance does make the heart grow fonder I guess

on Father’s Day we even had a nice call together but it got cut short because his service was bad and as it cut I said I love you but Idk if he heard me and that actually ended up being the last time I spoke to him

few days later I got a call from my mom as I was walking to class telling me he passed. It was so shocking cuz like he had been sick for years but the last couple months he had been out of the hospital and going back to living life so we thought he was good. Guess not

i guess for me what it boils down to is u never know when ur last moment is with someone so if ur dad wasn’t abusive and u can stand talking to him give him a call ykno just say what’s up, text him back or text first or whatever Cuz I deff should’ve picked up more calls

If I could talk to him again I’d say thank you for giving me the opportunity to chase my dreams and honestly thanks for being better than a lot of dads, the bar’s pretty low but he still cleared it I think

something i realized is since his passing i don't like to sit silently and think too much ykno so I try to keep busy and Twitter/comedy has deff helped with that so as absolutely terrible as this website is it's deff been a coping mechanism

It also really helps talking to people who’ve also lost a parent cuz they get it and you don’t have to say a lot to each other you can just kind of be there and you know they understand. A lot of people on here have been super supportive in the last year reaching out and stuff

lol a shoutout during this thread feels weird but yea people like @saracsanta @dont_paasewe @chunkyfila @avantnard @AlwaysAButt have really helped me keep it together and my younger brother @TracyL0ne has been so strong thru all this, you guys are awesome I love you so much

Ok I think this thread is getting too long now but yeah Rest In Peace Dad idk if there’s an afterlife but I miss you so fucking much Festus and I hope I end up making you proud