thomas 🍌, Discover and Read the Best of Twitter Threads by @perfectsweeties

thomas 🍌

perfectsweeties

cat owners will be covered in scratches and scars and just be like these are little love marks from my handsome boy his name is pillow he's such a

one time a girl said "u dropped this pen". i was like. that is clearly not my pen. it's red. "ya u did" she shoved it into my hands. ok

interesting how when u squeeze most fruits u get fruit juice but when u squeeze a banana u just get. mashy banana. to me this is very suspicious. imposter fruit?

this grown ass man and professional comedian got extremely mad at me cuz i joked about his favorite fruit can u believe gary gulman is my dad can u believe

i cant believe the only word that starts with an x starts with a z please stop posting made up words that start with x under this tweet. there is

white people be like alright im making an executive decision no more horsing around not cool, please do not comment racist shit on my tweets