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Star Trek has taught me that whenever you& #39;re having a bad day, you should try shouting "Computer, end program," because you never know.
Alternatively, you can throw out a "What is it you want, Q?" See if that flushes anything out.
A common social faux-pas in the "Star Trek" universe is bellowing "Computer: Freeze Program" and figuring out you& #39;re not trapped in a holodeck program, this really is how your cousin& #39;s wedding is going down.
"Computer, delete the Barclay character."
"Um, s-sir, I& #39;m really her-"
"Quiet, I& #39;m talking to the computer."
"Um, s-sir, I& #39;m really her-"
"Quiet, I& #39;m talking to the computer."
"Computer, can you make the Barclay character 20% less annoying?"
"Sir, I& #39;m standing right here."
"Hmm, the hologram can hear me talk to the computer. The perceptual filters must be malfunctioning."
"Sir, I& #39;m standing right here."
"Hmm, the hologram can hear me talk to the computer. The perceptual filters must be malfunctioning."
"Delete the wife."
"Ex-CUSE me?"
"Oh, uh... sorry, did I say that out... uh..."
"Ex-CUSE me?"
"Oh, uh... sorry, did I say that out... uh..."
"Will, today& #39;s the day you told my mother you& #39;d take her to the-"
"COMPUTER FREEZE PROGRAM"
"Very funny, Will, I made the reservations for 1500, and-"
*running from the room* "COMPUTER END PROGRAM"
"COMPUTER FREEZE PROGRAM"
"Very funny, Will, I made the reservations for 1500, and-"
*running from the room* "COMPUTER END PROGRAM"
"Q! I& #39;m done playing your sick games!!"
"...if you think this staff meeting has gone on for too long, Lieutenant, you can just say so."
"Q! I know you& #39;re behind this, this meeting could have been an e-mail!"
"...if you think this staff meeting has gone on for too long, Lieutenant, you can just say so."
"Q! I know you& #39;re behind this, this meeting could have been an e-mail!"
The other thing: have you ever noticed how sometimes the "Captain& #39;s Log" entries seem to be recorded like, right in the middle of a dramatic situation? You& #39;re coming back from a commercial and Picard& #39;s voice-over is catching you up, but when did he have time to make this?
Like, there are four Romulan warbirds outside. Did Picard just fuck off for a minute to add to his diary?
"Sir, where are you going?"
"Log entry. Starfleet will need to know what happened when they find our charred corpses tumbling through an Enterprise-sized debris field."
"Sir, where are you going?"
"Log entry. Starfleet will need to know what happened when they find our charred corpses tumbling through an Enterprise-sized debris field."
That& #39;s still better than the alternative.
"Captain& #39;s Log: the Enterprise is slowly losing power, and there& #39;s no way to stop it. It& #39;s only a matter of time before we& #39;re all dead."
"Uh, sir, we can all hear you-"
"Log continues: the children will die first, of course..."
"Captain& #39;s Log: the Enterprise is slowly losing power, and there& #39;s no way to stop it. It& #39;s only a matter of time before we& #39;re all dead."
"Uh, sir, we can all hear you-"
"Log continues: the children will die first, of course..."
Constantly recording log entries is the Star Trek equivalent of Tweeting Through It.
