A really good heuristic for finding men who cosplay as feminists but are in fact just hyperverbal misogynists:

See how they speak about women who are older or hold power, and thus outside sexual availability.

This is also great for spotting internalized misogyny among women.

I keep saying this but feminism is entirely too fractured by chasing individual issues as flash points. The first work of feminism has to be as basic as:

How to humanize women after 6,000 *SOLID* years of dehumanization?

Women are not seen as equal humans. That's the issue.

And please let's not fool ourselves about "he's one of the good ones." Too many women have learned to live with emotional neglect from men in their lives, and don't even expect support or help. If they get it, it comes only after years of lobbying for your own rights at home.