DUNGEON MASTER: so you see character creation is very simple. the setting really only has one rule which is that you don't eat fruit from the magic tree-

ADAM: 99% understood

EVE: what would you say the distance is in feet between me and the tree, and also how fast can I move

DM: back at the humble village John the Baptist is waiting for you, seems like he has a quest-

SALOME: I draw my vorpal blade

DM: this is not the tone of game that we agreed upon last week

DM: again, the tavernkeeper isn't inclined to let you in

MARY: WHY

DM: mary you are a heavily pregnant paladin carrying a donkey and a druid

JOSEPH: if I summon an animal what will turn up, because if we get a donkey again I will riot I specifically asked for a giant crab

JESUS: does anyone remember where I left the zombie

DM: ok so (checks notes) you left Lazarus...on a street corner

JESUS: oh. well he'll probably be alright

DM: if by alright you mean prowling the city at night feasting on civilians until someone hunts him down then yes

DM: paul there's an ominous scent as you enter the room. someone has left an ox head on your pallet

PAUL: who did this

DM: roll investigation

PAUL: 23

DM: it was the Corinthians

PAUL: I BLOODY KNEW IT. I fetch my quill.

DM: Judas the soldiers pay you 30 pieces of silver for your information

JUDAS: wait wait wait how much is that in gold pieces again

DM: about 3 gold

JUDAS: i betrayed the party for THREE GOLD???

DM: so you're really sure about this

ABRAHAM: he should have at least 6 hit points and it's only a very small dagger, there's like a 1 in 4 chance this kills him

ISAAC: f a t h e r n o

ABRAHAM: look if he dies he's not even level two yet he can start over as his twin Brisaac