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Me, to out of town media: strap the fuck in because I'm about to tell you about North St. Paul, West St. Paul, South St. Paul and St. Paul Park. None of these are St. Paul and you'll never correctly place them on a map relative to St. Paul by guessing.
Media: I think I'll figure out Inver Grove Heights and Mendota Heights.
Me: Bitch, you thought.
Me: Bitch, you thought.
Media: The Lowry tunnel is on Lowry Avenue, right?
Me:
Me:
Me, a third generation Minnesotan learning where St. Paul Park is:
Mendota Heights and Inver Grove Heights need to merge and everyone knows it.
People being like, "talk about the sides of St. Paul." I am a 1G in Minneapolis because my family's home in St. Paul was paved over. I do not get into details about the City of St. Paul unless it's specific restaurants (yum!). Don't y'all have some alley plowing debts to settle?
Me: Roseville and Rosemount nowhere near each other.
National Media, completely destroyed by my metro geography antics:
National Media, completely destroyed by my metro geography antics:
Me, yelling as they run away: SHOREVIEW AND SHOREWOOD AND CHASKA AND CHANHASSEN AND CHAMPLIN.
Them:
Them:
How could I forget! My family loves to eat fast casual food in The Grove. Which is by Brooklyn Park and Brooklyn Center. https://twitter.com/NSBPainting/status/1381801742413758466
Maple Grove, Maple Plain and Maplewood do not touch each other.
Welcome to Minnesota Nice, y'all. We are assholes who delight in making you feel bad you decided to visit for longer than we are comfortable with.
Minnesota Nice is a PhD in passive-aggressive behavior. You think you understand passive-aggressive behavior but you don't. Honestly, Southerners are the only people who I think get it the most but even then...yikes.
Boss: *coughs a certain way*
Me: Oh shit, we about to get fired.
It is very anxious being here and I'd be happier in a more direct place. But whatever.
Me: Oh shit, we about to get fired.
It is very anxious being here and I'd be happier in a more direct place. But whatever.
People from NOT MN think I am not from MN until you put me in NYC and then I become stupid friendly and it is very clear I am from MN. It's ridiculous.
Don't add me to your "news" lists. I am not news at all.
I'm just riffing to settle my nerves before bed.
Muting.
But, yeah, I covered this Minneapolis stuff too.
https://twitter.com/ItsTheBrandi/status/1381788600753291265
No, for real, bye on this thread.
https://twitter.com/ItsTheBrandi/status/1381788600753291265
No, for real, bye on this thread.
