Everyone, my husband left the house and asked me to keep an eye on his sauce, does he understand the immense power and responsibility I now wield?!!

HOW DOES TOMATO SAUCE WORK, PLEASE ADVISE, DO I ADD CHOCOLATE SYRUP TO IT

He's been gone three minutes, the sauce still looks fine, I can manage this for another 87 minutes, right? RIGHT?

Update: if you put a colander on your head you can kind of look like a member of Devo.

Pretty sure they're gonna revoke it. https://twitter.com/Anthropologal/status/1381015731194761217

Update: things are going great! Vacuumed, made a cake, did the dishes, tidied up. Can't help but think I've forgotten something though.

Oh, god.

He's home. Trying to come up with a plan and the best I have is "fake my own kidnapping"

Good news, our (vaccinated) dinner guests arrived and my mom is distracting everyone with the story of how my aunt's house burned down.

Mom is now talking about out of body experiences, not sure why I was concerned about the sauce

Anyway.

Mom is now talking about how much she hates the English.

"They're all thieves!"

This is turning into a lecture about colonialism, and she's not wrong.

I made a cake which provoked a twenty minute fight about religion.

Rand's grandfather has been trolling my mother for half an hour about how God worked at a desk and wrote the Bible and I'm hyperventilating.

Okay, dinner accomplished. Guests came to some agreement about the existence of god. Kitchen cleaned. I am very tired.

I forgot that having people over is work.