Thread by @usnehal, I have a range of writing & #communication stylesOutside the ED of [...]

I have a range of writing & #communication styles

Outside the ED of hospitalist medicine, when I “talk like a man” - direct, unvarnished truths and or “taking up too much space”, there is pushback, affront. Others have noted men with same style as me are

#WomeninSTEM
#SciComm https://twitter.com/liz_harrison/status/1380970188737220618

https://twitter.com/liz_harrison/status/1380970188737220618

In reality women can’t just email or communicate “like a man” for same results. Society *expects* different communication from women.

I’ve never been an exclamation point person but I use smiley faces

#womeninleadership
#womeninSTEM
#WomenInMedicine https://www.vice.com/en/article/8xyb5v/how-to-write-professional-work-email-women

The Problem With Telling Women to Email Like Men

Maybe men should use more exclamation points!

https://www.vice.com/en/article/8xyb5v/how-to-write-professional-work-email-women

These studies + anecdotal experience:

“women don't negotiate for a very simple reason: they sense—correctly—that it will hurt them if they do... when women *do* negotiate... they end up worse off than if they’d kept their mouths shut”

#womeninSTEM https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/family-friendly/201301/women-dont-negotiate-because-theyre-not-idiots

Women Don't Negotiate Because They're Not Idiots

You can't help but hear that "women don't ask," but do you know why?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/family-friendly/201301/women-dont-negotiate-because-theyre-not-idiots

Women are also overtly shamed with things like “it wouldn’t be fair to give that to you”

fair based on *what* metric or standard?

Even if you are discussing a position unique to you, you are told you can’t have more than those reporting to you

#womeninleadership
#womeninSTEM

I have been told “be sweet”

“Women who assertively pursue their own ambitions..promote their own interests..labeled as bitchy or pushy...their work devalued.. ostracized or excluded from access to important information”

#womeninleadership
#womeninSTEM https://hbr.org/2003/10/nice-girls-dont-ask

Nice Girls Don’t Ask

Women negotiate less than men—and everyone pays the price.

https://hbr.org/2003/10/nice-girls-dont-ask

Overall my approach now is:

I am who/how I am

people who value results value me
people with values, value me & my values

those wedded to or enforcing misogynistic/sexist social/cultural norms on women will act as above

Yes, I will either leave or be shut out from some rooms

When women are let into rooms, they may lose their #ethics as a result of being in that room

they often feel pressured to conform to the behaviors, made to feel responsible for others and willing to lie for others, especially men

#womeninleadership https://insight.kellogg.northwestern.edu/article/women-ethics-workplace-negotiation

Are Women More Ethical at the Negotiating Table? It’s Complicated.

Plus, how women are judged differently when they break the rules.

https://insight.kellogg.northwestern.edu/article/women-ethics-workplace-negotiation

Women are influenced by context - a dark side of the #EQ and #empathy?
compared to rigid ethical backbone

On advocacy, I left spaces of “do whatever it takes”. I have lines I won’t cross regardless of mission

Also, #professionalism is sexist

#womeninleadership
#womeninSTEM

“fairness” framing used to shame women for even asking (deflecting from saying “no”)

triggers women to resent fellow women who ask
=deep social conditioning from childhood

“both male and female supervisors can have these negative feelings about women” https://www.cnbc.com/2013/11/27/for-women-asking-for-a-raise-is-damned-if-you-do-or-dont.html

For women, asking for a raise is damned if you do or don't

The income gender gap can widen with age, and some believe one reason is that women don't always ask for more money. But that's not always the case.

https://www.cnbc.com/2013/11/27/for-women-asking-for-a-raise-is-damned-if-you-do-or-dont.html

look at the history of when women allowed
into institutions/workforce
right to vote

brought in to defend status quo using a narrative of “purity“ & “protecting culture“

women who serve men & past are allowed in the room
but serve self: not a good woman

#womeninleadership https://twitter.com/usnehal/status/1378796504664698881

https://twitter.com/usnehal/status/1378796504664698881

despite being shamed by the concept of “fairness”, for asking more than others have

if women do not disrupt status quo, we perpetuate structural inequity & unfairness

Double bind

I wish I had the solution
Am working on it

#womeninleadership
#WomenInSTEM
#WomenInMedicine

I have explored a lot of different spaces, interacted with many personalities in real life, academia, virtually

I am constantly learning (including from some very unfortunate situations)

Yes, one can rely on male allies..
But I want to solve this for women to be fully empowered

there have been notable female whistleblowers

is extremely scary
sometimes requires financial independence to do it

all of us should be willing to be the whistleblower
for the sake of ethics & harm mitigation
& for future women

#womeninleadership https://www.sentinelsource.com/opinion/op-ed/why-women-whistleblowers-matter/article_788cf64a-385f-53d3-8a38-a4c2a4958585.html

Why women whistleblowers matter

E. Jean Carroll is sticking to her story. She’s the high-profile woman who is suing Donald Trump for allegedly raping her in the 1990s in a posh New York department

https://www.sentinelsource.com/opinion/op-ed/why-women-whistleblowers-matter/article_788cf64a-385f-53d3-8a38-a4c2a4958585.html

If analyzing number of exclamation points in an email, how to take on the whole system?

In almost every situation there are multiple things one could report.

This is a perpetual dilemma:
stay & fight?
stay & look away?
report?
leave?
#WomenInLeadership https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/12/27/men-more-likely-than-women-to-compromise-values-for-career-success/

Men more likely than women to compromise values for career success

Another possible explanation why there are so few cracks in the corporate glass ceiling.

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/12/27/men-more-likely-than-women-to-compromise-values-for-career-success/

For #womeninSTEM being more ethical or cautious w/ data reduces productivity or publications. That bolsters the glass ceiling. It puts one in asking or defensive position, which makes one less comfortable speaking up.

https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2017/02/24/study-suggests-women-are-more-ethical-men-science-and-may-hold-them-back

#womeninleadership
#WomenInMedicine

Study suggests that women are more ethical than men in science, and

Study finds that physicists are more likely to describe women as ethical scientists, but in ways that potentially limit their productivity and competitiveness.

https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2017/02/24/study-suggests-women-are-more-ethical-men-science-and-may-hold-them-back

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