I have a range of writing & #communication styles

Outside the ED of hospitalist medicine, when I “talk like a man” - direct, unvarnished truths and or “taking up too much space”, there is pushback, affront. Others have noted men with same style as me are👍
#SciComm https://twitter.com/liz_harrison/status/1380970188737220618
In reality women can’t just email or communicate “like a man” for same results. Society *expects* different communication from women.

I’ve never been an exclamation point person but I use smiley faces

#WomenInMedicine https://www.vice.com/en/article/8xyb5v/how-to-write-professional-work-email-women
These studies + anecdotal experience:

“women don't negotiate for a very simple reason: they sense—correctly—that it will hurt them if they do... when women *do* negotiate... they end up worse off than if they’d kept their mouths shut”

#womeninSTEM https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/family-friendly/201301/women-dont-negotiate-because-theyre-not-idiots
Women are also overtly shamed with things like “it wouldn’t be fair to give that to you”

fair based on *what* metric or standard?

Even if you are discussing a position unique to you, you are told you can’t have more than those reporting to you

I have been told “be sweet”

“Women who assertively pursue their own ambitions..promote their own interests..labeled as bitchy or pushy...their work devalued.. ostracized or excluded from access to important information”

#womeninSTEM https://hbr.org/2003/10/nice-girls-dont-ask
Overall my approach now is:

I am who/how I am

people who value results value me
people with values, value me & my values

those wedded to or enforcing misogynistic/sexist social/cultural norms on women will act as above

Yes, I will either leave or be shut out from some rooms
When women are let into rooms, they may lose their #ethics as a result of being in that room

they often feel pressured to conform to the behaviors, made to feel responsible for others and willing to lie for others, especially men

#womeninleadership https://insight.kellogg.northwestern.edu/article/women-ethics-workplace-negotiation
Women are influenced by context - a dark side of the #EQ and #empathy?
compared to rigid ethical backbone

On advocacy, I left spaces of “do whatever it takes”. I have lines I won’t cross regardless of mission

Also, #professionalism is sexist

look at the history of when women allowed
into institutions/workforce
right to vote

👩🏼 brought in to defend status quo using a narrative of “purity“ & “protecting culture“

women who serve men & past are allowed in the room
but serve self: not a good woman

#womeninleadership https://twitter.com/usnehal/status/1378796504664698881
despite being shamed by the concept of “fairness”, for asking more than others have

if women do not disrupt status quo, we perpetuate structural inequity & unfairness

Double bind

I wish I had the solution
Am working on it 🤓🧐

I have explored a lot of different spaces, interacted with many personalities in real life, academia, virtually

I am constantly learning (including from some very unfortunate situations)

Yes, one can rely on male allies..
But I want to solve this for women to be fully empowered
You can follow @usnehal.
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