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I kind of want to do a thread on something I never experienced before chronic pain, that I call "secondary pain wave"
My bad if this is old news to everyone, but several people in my life needed explanations so I figured I'd put it out there.
#ChronicPain #NEISVoid
My bad if this is old news to everyone, but several people in my life needed explanations so I figured I'd put it out there.
#ChronicPain #NEISVoid
Before severe chronic pain, if I had pain it was generally in a single area, or at least one part of the pain would be the most severe and when that was treated, I could cope.
But now, with chronic pain, I have so many different pains that I tend to focus my mind on one, or have my attention drawn to the worst pain, and attempt to ignore the rest as a coping mechanism.
This is a problem because...
This is a problem because...
If I'm lucky enough to medicate to where my most drastic pain begins to ease, I end up hitting "secondary pain wave"...
When all the other (awful) pains that I've been ignoring flood my awareness because they are no longer being blocked by the "loudness" of what was the worst
When all the other (awful) pains that I've been ignoring flood my awareness because they are no longer being blocked by the "loudness" of what was the worst
But, the SPW is a more full-body experience than the "primary (localised) pain"... & so much worse.
After a brief moment of relief from the primary pain, I can be doubled over, puking, or even just collapse or pass out when that sensory awareness of the other pains floods in.
After a brief moment of relief from the primary pain, I can be doubled over, puking, or even just collapse or pass out when that sensory awareness of the other pains floods in.
And somehow, people think I ought to be able to forsee when this will occur, or to continue to repress that awareness, but I genuinely can't. And if I go without any pain meds, I'll be infinitesimally worse. So I have no idea how to manage it.
I've also noticed, that this coping mechanism has damaged my connection to my body, and physical sensations in general.
So, I'm inclined to injure myself because I have no awareness of more minor pains, like a hot oven tray. I'm not even ticklish like I used to be.
So, I'm inclined to injure myself because I have no awareness of more minor pains, like a hot oven tray. I'm not even ticklish like I used to be.
Chronic pain is so much more than pain. It's not just a physical sensation. It's catastrophic compounding traumas, it's constant invalidation, its lack of adequate care, it's coping mechanisms that are damaging in the long term. It's hell; even in the most mundane of ways.
