I’ve never watched the parade before. (Sorry. We weren’t parade people.) But the thing is, I have nothing to compare this to and it feels like I’m on acid.

I’m fairness if I had the day off, there’s no fucking way I’d be awake this early.

IT’S JUST ADS FOR THINGS WHAT THE FUCK OF COURSE IT IS THIS FUCKING COUNTRY

You know what we could do, put ads for things between ads for things then do a song then, wait for it, more ads for things.

WHEN DID AL ROKER GET SKINNY WHAT IS HAPPENING

If I had to emcee this thing it would just be me sneezing with bloody eyes from sitting in a hay fever trough

“Classic Pokémon song” is the last thing I heard before my soul left my body.

The Puerto Rican dance thing is cool though and if the parade was awesome shit like this, I’d probably watch it again but here’s another ad for a thing

YOU MOTHERFUCKERS THAT WAS A GOOD SONG BUT GOD FUCKING FORBID YOU LET US HAVE THAT YOU HAD TO CUT TO MORE COMMERCIALS FUCK YOU

Darlene Love is lovely.

Of course you motherfuckers talked over her too. Let’s do a pharmaceutical ad because we live in a dystopian shithole

Why is the extremely gay youth minister singing through his nose on my tv

And when did radio country become completely fucking indistinguishable from Christian rock

There’s a gay and lesbian marching band on now but that fucking queen was gayer than a gay marching band doing dancing queen.

Are we still running out of helium and am I the only person in the world who worries about helium. You’re right. I should go down a helium rabbit hole.