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if you're going to miss seeing your family this Thanksgiving, try hiring a stranger to FaceTime you and fight with you about dead people voting
if you're going to miss seeing your family this Thanksgiving, try locking yourself in a bathroom in your own house and crying while frantically texting your friends
if you're going to miss seeing your family this Thanksgiving try reading your most racist cousin's Facebook post and get a friend to shout it at you
if you're going to miss seeing your family this Thanksgiving just cancel your next therapy appointment and let the mental health deteriorate
if you're going to miss seeing your family this Thanksgiving just mention on Facebook that you've been looking for a new skincare routine and you'd love to support someone working their business that allows them to still be a mama to their kids while achieving their dreams
if you're going to miss seeing your family this Thanksgiving just identify the body part you hate the most and stand in front of the mirror pointing at it
If you're going to miss seeing your family this Thanksgiving just give a stranger a bunch of alcohol and tie yourself to their ankle for 6 hours
If you're going to miss seeing your family this Thanksgiving, you should ask around and see if anyone is willing to mock your food allergies and/or dietary preferences while you eat on Thursday
If you're going to miss seeing your family this Thanksgiving, you can sit down to dinner with your partner to whom you are legally and/or emotionally committed and have been for years and hire someone to say "oh, so you all are still together, huh"
If you're going to miss seeing your family this Thanksgiving, you can ask if someone would be willing to jump in after you've calmly noted your uncle/aunt/cousin/grandma's monstrous behavior and accuse you of "ruining the holiday" and "wanting attention"
If you're going to miss seeing your family this Thanksgiving, just remember that there's definitely someone online who will say something cruel and incorrect about your education, profession, appearance, and morals, and you don't even have to travel to them
If you're going to miss seeing your family for Thanksgiving, why not try sending "the world today is just too politically correct" in a text to your extended family and read the responses as they come in
If you're going to miss seeing your family for Thanksgiving, why not try stopping all of your psych meds cold turkey and take up yoga/trail running/essential oils like someone would inevitably suggest you do while you're eating pie
If you're going to miss seeing your family this Thanksgiving, try recreating the experience by taking an Ativan or Xanax and walking right into the middle an intersection
This one has a typo but I'll test it out maybe
