So the Prime Minister can't answer MPs' questions on Covid because he can't work his laptop and no one can come in and help him work it because he's self-isolating

Boris Johnson is due to give a press conference at 7pm. He has two and a half hours to find the unmute button on his laptop

Matt Hancock has now been filling in for Boris Johnson for 25 minutes. "We're still hoping to get back in touch with the Prime Minister at some point," says the Speaker

"We think we're going to get the Prime Minister back," says the Speaker, after 45 minutes

At last, Boris Johnson is back. "I hope viewers will not think I was trying to evade scrutiny," he says

Anti-lockdown Tory MP Sir Desmond Swayne glares up at the giant screen with Boris Johnson's face on it, then barks: "HE LOVED BIG BROTHER!"