Fighter: Should we let this evil monster go?

Warlock: Doesn’t matter.

F: What do you mean?

W: Whatever we do won’t have a significant impact on anything in the universe.

F: But what about the people here?

W: They don’t matter.

F: What about me?

W: D-don’t ask me that.
#DnD

Fighter: So nothing matters to you?

Warlock: That’s not what I said. It has nothing to do with me.

F: What?

W: You’re asking a personal question when I’m talking about a philosophical concept.

F: I think this is the part where I ask what I’m supposed to use my swords on.

W: *sigh* What I care about doesn’t matter. And that’s the point. Whatever choices I make, whatever I do, it won’t make any significant impact on the universe, on time, or even on the world as it currently is. It’s all too big and we’re all too small. Why bother choosing?

F: I don’t really know what to do with that.

W: Yeah, how could you? It’s so much more than we can ever hope to impact.

F: No, I mean, I don’t really care.

W: Excuse me?

F: Why do I care about all that out there? I’m here. I don’t affect it and it doesn’t affect me.

F: My actions won’t impact it but it’s not like it impacts me either. I’m choosing to care about right now, and nothing else out there can stop me. In a way, I’m stronger than it.

W: You’re not stronger than the universe?

F: Really? Then why won’t it fight me?

W: Haha! I’m sorry, what?

F: If the universe is more powerful and so much greater than me, how come it won’t fight me?

W: Do you not see all the battles we fight? All the hardships?

F: Do you not see we face those things because of conscious choices by others?

F: The universe isn’t choosing anything. It just exists. And if there are things that can rival its power, then they can fight it all they want.

W: You’re an ant, convincing yourself you’re content that way.

F: You’re damn right. But I’m making that choice, that’s my power.

W: So you looked into the abyss and blinked.

F: No, I looked into the abyss and gave it the finger. You let it scare you.

W: I can’t just choose to ignore it.

F: Nobody said you had to. You can let it crush you if you want. I won’t.

W: Ok... I do.

F: What?

W: Care about you

F: Ditto. Now what do we do about this monster?

W: Oh, it’s long gone.

F: Dangit! You got me sidetracked with philosophy again!

W: We could go chase it down. If that still matters to you.

F: It does.

W: Then I guess it matters to me as well.

I was not sure how this would go but I didn't expect it to do this. I promise I'll make the next one funnier. Here's some joke enemies to pick you back up.

http://Patreon.com/Snickelsox