For anyone who feels that they would be rejected if they really showed their full range of emotions -- that fear is totally common.

Here's a good, smart video on how that may have come from your parents.

I should add: The result of understanding this is not to increase blame or anger against parents. Most parents were never taught how to understand a child's emotional needs, or even that they should respect them. What it does teach you...

...is that when you recognize one of the childhood wounds, you need to heal by reparenting yourself. And this is how you do it: Being happy to see yourself, have your own company. Loving yourself even when you're angry. Be the parent to yourself now that you needed as a child.

Also understand that some of what you're up against is structural. Trauma is passed down generationally. A parent who was abused will pass down abuse or fear of abuse/punishment to their kids. Racism and oppression are also part of those traumas.

So reparent yourself, but also know that self-healing does not change the world. It makes you more able to bear and change the unjust world, however; it gives you back some of the energy that trauma steals from us.

That's a summary of what Gabor Maté and other adherents of attachment theory say. If you want more, please also read his books and the book Attached by Amir Levine.

Also, in generational trauma -- it's epigenetically coded. So a parent who was abused or neglected by their parents or teachers will pass on all the fears and anxiety of abuse and neglect even if they themselves do not repeat those behaviors towards their children.