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I spent half a year reading the Sun, it was hell. https://twitter.com/jimmfelton/status/1317035814937907200

A transcript for hearing impaired

In 2016 a narrow percentile majority of voters in the UK voted to leave the European Union. There's a chance a number greater than zero of these voters voted because they believe that the EU had banned them from leering without consent at tits.

In 2005, The Sun reported that ‘the EU has declared a crackpot war on busty barmaids’, claiming that the ‘po-faced pen-pushers have deemed it a HEALTH HAZARD for bar girls to show too much cleavage’.

Henceforth, the EU NAZIS had - the article claimed – ‘ordered a cover up’ after deeming it ‘dangerous’ to show too much cleavage.

'They say barmaids run a skin cancer risk if they expose themselves to when they go outside to collect glasses. Last night the move was blasted as an affront. Annie Powell, of real ale group Camra, raged: “It’s just another blatant example of Europe gone mad.”’

Of course, the EU directive was absolutely nothing to do with breasts. You won't be surprised that 28 of the world's most powerful nations don't sit around discussing how much cleavage is too much cleavage, nor call for a motion to move on to the more pressing topic of sideboob.

The suggested directive was actually... just about protecting workers from skin cancer. They suggested that workers who work outdoors should be given the option to cover themselves properly, or maybe be provided with a bit of sun cream so they don't roast off their skin.

Nowhere - and I really must stress this - did any of the legislation mention bazungas.

I can only imagine the Sun thought ‘well this EU directive seems a bit dry, it essentially just wants people to not get cancer, how can we get our readers outraged’ before leaping up and exclaiming - I'd imagine for around the seventh time that day – ‘they're trying to ban tits!’

The Sun seems to live in a world where they think their readers are heading to 1970s Carry On pubs, asking for peanuts from the bar staff - not those ones, the low ones - then making a noise implying they've got an erection on their swanny whistles.

And so a story about the EU thinking ‘maybe it would be nice if outdoor workers didn't get skin cancer’ became an opportunity for the Sun to convince their readers that the crazy EU were attempting to ban them from leering at breasts like creeps.

The EU eventually took out the part about sun damage to skin from the directive, and the Sun celebrated as if they had anything to do with it.

The Sun told their readers to ‘lift their jugs to the Sun’ for rescuing ‘Britain's busty barmaids’ who were never really at risk, and even if they were it was only at risk of not being required to get cancer by their employers.