WE HAVE A PARADE (and I'm already shouting at them to get on with it)

Watch here, thanks to our pals at @nknewsorg

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz5Nf5Eb7EQul1mLqrRwliw/live

And we're [almost] off

And there's yer man

No social distancing, no masks *comes out in hives*

I suppose you want a #KimJongUnTrouserWatch assessment

After an emotional speech in which Kim concedes economic woes and thanks the people for keeping Covid at bay, "North Korea will live forever!"

It's a mix of highly choreographed show, and so much hardware.

Well hello there

BEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS

And they're off.

Just as my satellite feed gets a bit iffy.

So much goose-stepping. And for the spotters, the assault weapons seem to be new.

Here’s how we’re seeing this parade - a 4.5m dish somewhere in a field in Oxfordshire looking at the free-to-air transmission on Intelsat 21.

"I'm not really a welder you know"

They've blinged up the Air Force.

Seven North Korean Mig-29s in the air - the most I've ever seen.

And here come the tanks

And this is the stuff we're here for.

These launchers are new

Now this is new. Looks like the PukKukSong 4A (?) Submarine Launched Ballistic Missile

More tracked ballistic missiles

The sheer number and variety of types is jaw-dropping

Hwasong-12 ballistic missiles

Hwasong-15 ballistic missiles - only four on show today

And the star of the show - an entirely new ICBM on a ten-axle TEL. Four on display.

I can't count. ELEVEN axles. This is a monster of a missile.

We're done. The crowd roars, and the trousers flap.

Huge thanks due to @nknewsorg, @nktpnd and Joost Oliemans for the background on this parade. Big questions for the West after seeing a highly-equipped NK military.

And I can tell you for nothing (because I’ve heard it so often in the past) that this particular tune and cheering combination is straight out of the Korea Central TV sound effects library. THAT’S how much North Korean TV I watch. https://twitter.com/alistaircoleman/status/1314903203528540165

State news agency KCNA has just published 111 photos from the parade. I may be gone some time.

(Pictured: Man who has been very brave, Kim Jong Un, man who has been not nearly as brave)

Call those medals? THESE are medals.