“I can rinse your hair out in my sink or you can let the purple sit a little longer and then rinse it out at home. It’s easy, just make sure you have some cleaning spray and it will come right off.” - My hairstylist, who is lovely but had WAY TOO MUCH FAITH in my competence
I spent the first four innings of this game naked in my shower, absolutely panicked and reminding myself that I just renewed my lease so I have a year to get the stains out.
You guys, the degree of absolute terror I experienced when my happy ass sprayed Windex on the bathtub and it didn’t just wipe clean.

Did you know you can sweat profusely while taking a cold shower? You can when you’re staring at a purple wall that costs your security deposit.
Then I remembered that time I tried to dye my own hair and I used Clorox wipes to clean up - back in the before time, when you could just waste Clorox wipes on frivolous things.

Cut to: me, dripping with purple water and naked, using an entire container on the wall. Nothing.
I should also mention, I am ENTIRELY PURPLE during this process because I did not, as I thought, done a good job of keeping it off me.

I finally remembered that Comet exists, so I run - again, PURPLE AND NAKED - through my apartment to grab it.
Kit thinks this is a hilarious new game and tries to play with me.

I trip over the dog and my only thought is “please god don’t let me die looking like a porn Violet Beauregard.”
I manage to stay upright and make it to the kitchen sink, grab the container of Comet, and ... remember that I used almost all of it the other week cleaning the shower for the first time in <redacted> and figured I’d buy more next time I need to clean the tub.
I find an equally almost empty container of Bartender’s Friend and pray that God will do for me what he did for the Jews during Hanukkah and make them last longer than they should.
It’s working! It’s removing the purple! This is great! Wait ... why are the walls now getting navy blue streaks .....

The Comet/Bartender’s Friend mix was stripping my nail polish. So now I’m removing the dye and adding polish.
But an hour and an entire roll of paper towels later, I did it. Victorious, I get out of the shower and towel off, only to realize ...
I can’t scrub my back.
The good news is that Purell got it off my hands so I didn’t spend the whole night washing my hands like Lady Macbeth it she murdered Ursula.
Here’s the hair - this was the only angle I could get, it’ll pop more in daylight.
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