nineties video games were wild.

fucking thread.

there was a sega genesis game called two crude dudes. starring two dudes. who happen to be crude. they get called in by the president to drive a gang out of post-apocalyptic new york city. the heroes are given three descriptors. two. crude. dudes.

shaquille o'neal gets warped to a different dimension where he has to save a kid from a mummy. it's called shaq fu.

even the red spot on 7up had a fucking video game.

the dominos mascot had a video game i am not making this up.

tim the tool man taylor fought dinosaurs with power tools in a home improvement video game i shit you not.

love those beat 'em up games where there are crates and oil cans lining the streets. some containing whole slabs of meat or food that restores health. others might contain throwing knives.

game developers were like "can we even call this a game if there's no quicksand?" do not fuck around with quicksand in a nineties view game!

there was a game called revolution x where the corrupt government banned "youth culture" and kidnapped aerosmith. so you steal a helicopter and fly around the world destroying military bases and shit. to save aerosmith.

there was a playstation game where you're a caveman and the goal of the game is to stack mammoth skulls all the way to the sun.

sega had a game where you're a ghost and you have to scare people out of their homes by possessing their furniture. fucking amazing.

i know i'm leaving out all the better known games but you get the drift.

*video game fuck off