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Trump is your novelist ex who only reads Hemingway yet calls your novel about an empowered witch "derivative" & when you split he wrote about your relationship but, for some reason, made you French & now you& #39;re interning at Harpers while he& #39;s still writing his stupid novel
Trump called that band you like "a little juvenile" and claims to prefer jazz although you bet he doesn& #39;t
Trump asked you if it was really a good idea to order a second dessert
Trump came home when you were watching a romantic comedy & claimed never to have seen it then asked you to turn it down so he could read stupid Tolstoy or some bullshit
Trump showed you a bit of his "novel" & he& #39;d totally based a character on your best friend Natalie who he just pervs over for thirty pages and you don& #39;t know if this means he and her have had a thing but it definitely means he& #39;s thought about it
He describes her as "as strong and delectable as a glass of neat bourbon"
When the three of you hang out he& #39;s all oh Natalie what are you reading now oh Natalie what did you think of those poems
And when you mispronounced "Andalucia" you caught them rolling their eyes
When you asked Trump about Natalie he said he& #39;d never thought of her that way, but was way too emphatic like it was INSANE like she was his SISTER when she& #39;s obviously hot like he hadn& #39;t NOTICED then later he said "she& #39;s too skinny" when by then we weren& #39;t even talking about her
