anybody not watching the debates is missing out joe biden just called donald trump “little bitch boy” it fucking rocked

wait now they’re kissing lmao

donald trump just say “joe biden is at greater risk of catching bofa than covid” and biden said “what the hell is bofa” and trump said “bofa these nuts”

it was a powerful moment for the president and voters in swing states will respond very positive to that sort of thing

folks — dr. fauci is performing physical exams on both candidates live on stage.

barack obama just slid out from under the stage and he has struck the moderator with a steel chair. he is now asking the questions.

this looks good for joe (biden).

the president has accused joe biden of being a homosexual

the moderator asked the candidates to define racism. they are playing rock, paper, scissors to see who will go first.

they changed their minds about racism. the candidates are doing a sit-up contest and whoever wins gets to say something nice about police officers.

they tied. each candidate gets 5 minutes to compliment the cops.

joe biden and donald trump have traded outfits. they are role playing as one another.

it’s not productive but it’s a lot of fun.

pizza time! domino’s has rolled out a pizza for each candidate. they will have 12 uninterrupted minutes to eat dinner. the host may not eat.

the president has refused to denounce bad vibes. he has pivoted to reading the journal of a coal miner aloud.

jennifer aniston is in the audience looking as lovely as ever

both men have been tranquilized and returned to their dressing rooms. moderator chris wallace has also been tranquilized and will be relocated to a private farm where he will spend the remainder of his life in solitude.

jennifer aniston is unharmed.