Franz Kafka: submitted for the approval of the midnight society i call this the tale of the labyrinthine bureaucracy
Kafka: never mind, it sucks
Kafka: all my stories suck, no one should ever hear them
King: no no you were doing fine
Kafka: no i suck
Kafka: and i'm ugly too

Kafka: i'm a failure and i'm dumb
Barker: jeez now you're bringing me down
Poe: clive
Barker: oh what we were all thinking it
Kafka: promise me when i'm dead you'll destroy my work
Barker: what am i, your maid? do it yourself
Kafka: i can't, i'm just so tired

Kafka: what if i was just a bug, a stupid bug
Kafka: then i wouldn't be such a burden
King: you're not a burden franz
Kafka: everyone hates me and they're right to hate me
King: it's hard times franz, everyone is feeling bad
Kafka: but what if
Kafka: things were WORSE

Kafka: i had a story about how we're all just cogs in a system of control
Kafka: but it made me too depressed
Frank Belknap Long: you know what i bet would help?
Long: that story about being a dog, tell that one
Barker: oh gee i wonder why you would say that

King: guys i'm really concerned about franz, he's been really depressed lately
Barker: really now? i hadn't noticed
King: you know what I think he needs now? more than anything?
Poe: the support of friends?
Barker: drugs, he needs drugs
King: no
King: INSPIRATIONAL GLURGE!

Kafka: we're all prisoners of a system, unable to break free stifled by forces beyond our control
King: hey franz, look at this
King: [holds up a picture of a cartoon owl saying 'you are valid']
King: i got it from the internet
Kafka:
King: did it work?
Kafka:
King: did it?

King: i just don't know
King: i showed him the cartoon owl
King: i showed him the cartoon kitten saying 'adulting is hard'
King: i showed him the cartoon puppy saying 'tfw'
King: i don't think there's any other remedies for depression

Koontz: i have a story
King: not now dean we're trying to help franz here
Koontz: it's ABOUT franz

Koontz: so this one time franz met a little girl who lost her doll, so he helped her look for it but they didn't find it
Koontz: so then franz started writing letters to the little girl as her doll
Koontz: telling her not to be sad, bc the doll was out traveling to see the world

King: [tearing up] oh my god dean
Poe: [tearing up] are you ok clive
Barker: [tearinng up] i i i just have something in my eye
Kafka:
Kafka: well great now i'm MORE depressed

Barker: jeez franz why couldn't you be more like tom
Barker: hey tom is life a meaningless slog of ennui and misery?
Ligotti: yes
Barker: and how do you feel about that?
Ligotti: fine
Barker: SEE??