In first and second year my friend was in a toxic cycle. I had run out of things to say. Our advice in general at that point was shitty because we were so inexperienced & immature. We concluded that we would just listen to each other instead. No words. Just listening.

She eventually got herself out of it. If we had stopped talking about it altogether what kind of friendship would we have? What kind of “safe spaces” are you creating if someone cannot come to you with their mess?

And I say “mess” ironically because all of us have our messes and it’s funny how we want to determine who has more of a mess than someone else. You don’t know how much emotional labour you place on other people.

It’s good to admit that you’re ill equipped to handle it, but never being that safe space. Or just quit the friendship altogether.

Never stop being that safe space*