I wanna see a Star Trek show with a really shitty Vulcan. Like, all the other Vulcans are all prim and logical and buttoned-down all the time, I wanna see a disaster Vulcan with messy quarters and nutty cartoon logic.

Sure, by Vulcan standards Spock is a bad Vulcan, half-human and all that, but we also know that he's the BEST Vulcan, he out-Vulcans all the other Vulcans.

When T'Pol does non-Vulcan things we've generally come to realize that's because she's ahead of her time, more like Spock.

I wanna see a Vulcan eating a porterhouse, and some other Vulcan being like "Um, Vulcans do not eat meat."

"This is replicated. Logically, this is not meat."

"..."

"Also, I'm a Vulcan, and if I'm eating it, then Vulcans do eat this."

Riding the turbolift all "Yeah, gotta go to Sickbay to get my pon farr drugs. Otherwise I just pon farr all the time."

"I thought Vulcans only did that once every seven years."

"Yeah, I have a pituitary thing, it's like being a fifteen-year-old Klingon in an Orion strip club."

"Your quarters are a mess."

"The bed will end up messy again, therefore it is illogical to spend valuable time cleaning it."

"Are... are you drinking?"

"You humans have a most logical phrase, 'When in Rome.'"

Exactly this. We've seen Vulcans who smile and stuff and aren't, you know, totally cuckoo-bananas all the time. https://twitter.com/jimmyjamesinc2/status/1308449565561909248?s=20

"Come on bro, it's Friday night!"

"Did... did you just call me bro?"

"Expressions of familiarity have an increased likelihood of getting you to acquiesce to my demands, therefore it is logical to employ them."

We've seen Michael Burnham, a human raised by Vulcans. What about a Vulcan raised by humans?

"You grew up on Earth?"

"Yeah, but I have all the Vulcan traits... highly-ordered mind, seven times the strength of a human."

"What do you do with that?"

"...volleyball, mostly."

"You don't act like other Vulcans."

"Yeah, racism is a form of illogic common to you humans. Do you still think all Chinese people are good at math, too?"

"Oh, God, no, I'm so-"

"Hey, Crewman Stephens is black, you gonna go ask him if he plays basketball?"

"I thought Vulcans didn't eat with their hands."

"These are mozarella sticks, they are intended to be eaten without cutlery. It would be illogical to go against local custom in such a manner."

"You're out of forks again, aren't you."

"I have many forks. They are merely dirty."

Our Vulcan (who I'm mentally calling Sh'awn) all ducking subspace calls from his parents because they've got a really nice arranged marriage set up for him that he's totally not about.

"Captain, I suggest we do a mind meld."

"Uh, Ensign Sh'awn, you're not allowed to do mind melds. Remember the incident with Crewman Michaels?"

*smash cut to the arboretum, where a crewman looks up from munching on the grass to baaaaa like a goat*

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight."

"Who taught you how to mind meld, anyway?"

"This andorian guy does these great how-to videos..."

"Andorians can't mind meld."

"Well no, but he DESCRIBED the process really well."

Other Vulcans would call him a "watermelon," the Vulcan term for someone who seems Vulcan (green) on the outside, but is human (red) on the inside.

He'd have to be really good at something - like Rom-style on-the-fly-engineering, or piloting, or something like that - so that the only reason other Vulcans would even associate with him is "He has saved our lives many times, so sending such a person away would be illogical."

He would obviously think Mariner's sarcastic live-long-and-prosper hand gesture was cool as fuck.

And anyway, we all know that Vulcans know how to use logic to make basically anything make sense, so there have to be some that are absolute garbage at it.

"Logic demanded I leave this work for someone else to do."

"What logic?"

"...look, it made sense at the time, you really had to be there."

"Look, if everyone just looks out for the needs of the one, then the needs of the many take care of themselves."

"Okay you just invented libertarianism, you're confined to quarters."

A Vulcan with just enough distance on things to be like "Maybe if we were more willing to discuss pon farr with outsiders we wouldn't still have to settle this shit with duels to the death?"

"..."

"...also our hats are ridiculous, like seriously what the hell."

"Anyway, I gotta go report to Sickbay for a full DNA analysis, they wanna make sure I'm not an undercover Romulan posing as a Vulcan. Again."

"Wait, how often do you-"

"Every new Captain feels the need to check."

"I keep pointing out that Romulans are better at being Vulcan than I am, but whatever."

Some Vulcans are just not as good at the emotional control angle as others. Either they double down and end up okay like Tuvok, they decide not to worry about it like Ensign Sh'awn, or... they turn into serial killers like that one dude on DS9 we don't talk about.

"It is logical to have a preference for women capable of rearing multiple offspring."

"Dude, you can just say you like curvy girls, you don't have to make it sound all creepy like that."

Obviously they'd have a sibling who was a really GOOD Vulcan, graduated the Vulcan Science Academy with full honors, still insists that time travel is impossible, had a nice low-drama pon farr with no fights to the death, always finishes their plomeek soup.

"Why can't you be more like N'moy? They always behave in a most-logical manner."

"I behave in the manner that is most logical for ME."