Sometimes I feel like we need to talk more about medical trauma and less about internalized ableism.

Like we definitely need to talk about internalized ableism, but it doesn't develop in a vacuum.

My brain does not have the words to explain this right now sooooooo hold tight?
If somebody is un/newly/partially dx'ed and they say "I'm not disabled," consider that this might be a trauma response and not a rejection of disabled identity.

What's left unsaid is "because if I WERE disabled then I'd need to reckon with YEARS of gaslighting & mistreatment."
There is so much important messaging that disabled isn't a bad word, but in some contexts this message TOTALLY misses the point.

A lot of folks don't identify as disabled specifically because trauma gremlins are constantly whispering in their brain that their illness isn't real.
Sometimes I see whispers of the idea that chronically ill people who don't ID as disabled need to get over their internalized ableism or something.

And this is incredibly alienating, because it can leave you with the impression that "real disabled people" don't live with doubt.
So if you're chronically ill and you don't ID as disabled because you're not sure if you're sick enough and you don't want to take up space, I want you to know that:

1. this is so common and it's ok and it doesn't inherently make you Part Of The Problem

2. you are sick enough
And I also just want everyone to know that a whole lot of chronically ill people go through phases where they worry they've been fabricating the whole thing.

This is not a niche problem. It's a common way to experience disability. https://twitter.com/bennessb/status/1223256210243190784?s=19
also if you're reading this thread like "who tf is this lady and why does she have such strong opinions about the impacts of life without a diagnosis?" may I direct you to my actual TEDx talk?

[Full transcript in reply to quoted tweet] https://twitter.com/bennessb/status/1304127702681690113?s=19
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