Something that’s been very useful to me during recovery from a very painful thing has been thinking of “charm/ing” as a verb and not a noun. To pause before thinking “this person is charming” and substitute “this person is trying to charm me.”

It came up in “The Gift of Fear” (which I love but do not endorse the DV chapter of) and wow, it’s a real motherfucker.

And there are lots of lovely reasons that someone might want to charm you, but wait and see. Just recognize what they’re doing AS a verb and be wary.

(I’m fine! Thank you for texting. I’m processing earlier stuff.)

It’s weird too, bc I have really cultivated being charming as a way to interact with other people and I’m great at it and now I’m like “is there a more authentic way to initially engage with new people?”

Or is it okay to try to charm people if you are also trying your best to be a trustworthy and reliable person? No idea.

(presses play on “Won’t Get Fooled Again” by The Who, takes a walk)

oh and of course when you’re autistic it’s ALL so goddamn confusing and you overthink everything anyway