Honestly, instead of doing pushups to bring awareness to the veteran suicide issue, how about we destigmatize mental health treatment in the military and leaders be open about how we *all* struggle at different points in our lives

I'll start - I've been in therapy for 2 years

It started because I'd buried stuff from my past for a long time - my upbringing told me that men just suck it up, put their heads down, and push on. Add military service and a deployment in there, and I was struggling. I finally decided to talk to someone about it.

But even then, it took me SIX MONTHS to finally pick up the phone, such was my hesitance to admit that I alone couldn't handle it. Six months to break through the lying point in my brain that told me that "you're weak if you do this. You can't lead troops"

That was even with close friends telling me to do it. Close friends in the Army telling me that it helped them, that it turned them around. I even told other people to do it, when I was too scared to even pick up the phone. But I finally did.

It was like a light came on

Suddenly, I wasn't carrying my problems around in my head, having them strike at me when I was at my most low. I learned coping skills, we talked thru issues, and I grew stronger. More able to navigate without turning to something like alcohol for relief. I was able to stand.

While in command, I've recommended it to my soldiers & have tried to destigmatize it as much as possible. But it's tough to crack thru the Army - I disclosed it during my yearly PHA & the provider said, "Great, but I'll just say you're coping, don't want a flag"

If you're struggling, you're not alone.

There are resources. You don't have to carry the dark feeling with you. This is *not* a permanent feeling. Things *can* change. Admitting it is the first step, and can be the hardest. But I'm here to say it's worth it.

You're worth it.

(btw, this is not to talk down to anyone doing the 22 pushups a day or anything like that - we need everyone to be thinking of preventative measures and raising awareness)