Jason Blair: alright today we’re playing Little Fears
Blair: it’s the RPG where children die
Blair: NIGHTMARE EDITION
Blair: which you would think from the name would be the more edgy, hardcore edition
Blair: YOU WOULD THINK

Blair: for Nightmare edition, we took out the child murder and turned down the child abuse metaphor by 20%
Blair: this is Nightmare edition, the kinder gentler revision
Blair: so this is now the game where children pet puppy dogs & lick lollipops
Koontz: I would like to pet a dog

Blair: let’s introduce our characters
Neil Gaiman: I’m playing Neilette, the little girl who is not like other girls
Gaiman: she wears dark colors and has purple hair and loves to laugh while standing in the rain
Gaiman: she carries a frilly black parasol

Gaiman: Neilette's mind is like a menagerie of thoughtsicles, an imaginarium of wonder!
Barker: you sound like ad copy for an educational CD Rom game
Gaiman: EXCUSE ME
Barker: like from the 90s
Koontz: oh yeah! He does!
Gaiman: I DO NOT
Koontz: i liked Dr. Boggle's Math Castle

Barker: so I guess neil’s just gonna be his own manic pixie dreamgirl
Gaiman: no I am playing a unique character
Ed Lee: dude he’s been like this since he broke up with Amanda
Gaiman: I HAVE NOT BEEN “LIKE THIS”
Ed Lee: dude we NEED to get you laid

Ray Bradbury: I’m playing as Johnny, a child of the open spaces, the world is his classroom
Bradbury: the woods are his bedroom, the blue sky is his ceiling
Blair: oh you’re playing
Blair: what a feral child?
Barker: no he’s doing a metaphor thing
Barker: he just talks that way

Bradbury: Johnny, the child of light, sunshine playing on his face, freckled and smudged, gappy grin with teeth like splintered fence posts, dirt under the fingernails of youth, always a song in his heart, just as a child should be. No! Not cooped up in a classroom (1/???)

Bradbury: but a free bird, laughing as he flies through the trees, higher! higher! higher he cries, the spirit of youth, breathing fresh air of the forests, laughing through fields of sunflowers, the air thick with the joy of dandelion bloom

Bradbury: no gray-faced man in a suit can force him into the cubic angles of a school desk prison! Free as flowing water, fresh as morning dew. He’s an ape! The pinch-faced school master cries, a little beast!
Barker: we’re never gonna get to the actual game are we