Just remembered that time, a week or so before our wedding, my husband-to-be sat up in bed and demanded to know if he had my kilt measurements.

I sleepily and bemusedly said "no?" and he became EXTREMELY huffy.

"For God's sake. We'll just have to get you measured freshly."
"Measured freshly," he said. Y'know. Like a serial killer.

"But [Hairy] I don't need a kilt. I'm the bride, remember?"

"So?"
"So I have a dress."

He frowned, struggling to process this apparently new information.

"You do?"
"Yes."
"Oh. Good."

Then he went back to sleep.
I think about the phrase "measured freshly" a lot.
I used to keep track of his sleepwalking and talking escapades but he's stopped doing that so much. He once woke me up to declare angrily that the price of rice had gone up.

I told him about that conversation in the morning and he shrugged and said "well, it has."
He used to get VERY AGGRESSIVE if I suggested that he might be asleep or having a dream so I stopped doing that and just played along.
"Have you checked the valves?"
"Er... what?"
"The VALVES, [ @grumpwitch]. Have you checked THE VALVES?"
"I uh... don't understand."
*extremely sassy sigh* "CLEARLY not."
Also he uses the full Sunday version of my name in his sleep which is fine and not at all terrifying.
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