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i cut my enemy's eye out and imprisoned his wife. i only own half of ireland so far so the punishment will likely continue for this poor dude
I stayed up too late playing... I had a TON of wars and went through 3-4 rounds of all my councilors being killed. My perfect baby boy son was murdered at age 16 after marrying my granddaughter (it is complicated) but at least they had a baby first and also I own most of ireland
Update: no progress on conquering meath, mostly because I died and my granddaughter took over as queen and people don't respect her much yet. However her young husband (second husband) got outrageously facially scarred in a war and now looks like some kind of fantasy film villain
meanwhile, my sister accidentally ended up queen of England, which is making me very jealous
I am settling into my rule as queen of all of ireland. Unfortunately I had to raise all of my vassals from childhood after I killed their fathers. They turned 16 almost all at once and I am now beginning the sad process of putting them all on my council to stop them tantruming
Update... I kept having babies into my mid-40s. They all love me. My son will inherit both ireland and about a quarter of England. I chose to not forcibly wrest part of England from my teenage cousin because I plan for him and my son to be like... action movie buddies together
The teenage cousin in question. Dilligent, Charming, Trusting, and Just. He's also albino, so he's basically a shonen hero with one distinguishing physical feature that makes him stand out from the other anime kids. I want him to be my son's best friend
immediately after leaving my household to live with his new wife in England, my son was diagnosed with depression. shit. come home son, I have a very fancy physician!!!!
My general strategy for getting good leaders in this game has been to put out a call for knights and only hire knights who have very good traits. I then make all my kids and all the local kids who I'll need to make into councilors someday into wards of these highly moral knights
ok, god, a lot happened really fast. I was called to war by my daughter in law and then my husband was murdered??? I remarried a random norse guy who is the rightful ruler of almost all of hungary
And in the middle there the crusades started but I was so busy defending my daughter in law and son from terrible attacks in England that I could not really promise to participate
my new husband appears to have a legal claim to be the ruler of Chernobyl?? is this right?
shit moves so fast. my daughter in law died in childbirth. I had to use a weak hook to get the child into my possession so I could micromanage his abilities. If he stays alive and nobody tries to steak his land, I believe he'll inherit both ireland and a huge chunk of england
i have played for only about 45 mins and a lot of stuff has happened. I was in a really bad war for a claim I'd fabricated, lost almost instantly, was then called into about 5 consecutive wars by my son-in-law, the King of Leon. None of them have gone THAT well but we won a few
The kid I wanted to become my son's ally has instead become a rakish rogue who is constantly, constantly fucking, apparently. He has the "Rakish" quality which apparently means "never stops going to the brothel ever"
Also, TWO more of my husbands died. I now understand that it says "murdered" when they die in a war. So I think at least one of my previous husbands was "murdered" in a war rather than by a murderer. I think the language for this in the game should be different honestly.
Nobody left on earth would be a good husband for me. The game is now suggesting I, a nearly 60yo, get betrothed to a 12yo whom I recently imprisoned in my dungeon after capturing him. He will likely reach the age of majority after I die. I have recruited him as a courtier instead
my new courtier is proving highly resistant to substitution grammars
My son in law, the King of Leon, finally died after dragging me into at least six wars. My grandson is now king of Leon. I am the grandmother or great aunt now of most nearby kings/major heirs. I feel like I screwed up by not winning that stuff for myself, but it was dumb luck
After he died, we lost the most recent war and my daughter and grandson, King Brice, were kidnapped. My war participation raised my TODDLER GRANDSON'S opinion of me to 100 (???? he cares about that shit???) which allowed me to secure him as my DOCTOR'S ward.
This means that I now have, living in my house, a baby with claims to much of Spain, a teen with claims to much of England, a courtier with claims to much of, uh, sweden??? and a couple other useful royal babies. I still ONLY own Ireland. I dunno if this is good or bad haha
I warred against the king of England and although I was within 4% of winning, his allies arrived and I had to negotiate a white peace. Then my new husband, who I married SOLELY for his extremely high war score, got cancer and will die. Too real. he's also one-legged now from war
precisely two years after moving from my house back to my son's lands in England, my grandson is now a treacherous, one-eyed war hero who has been held in jail several times by the king of england
I forced my daughter, who runs Connacht, to pay me more feudal taxes so I could afford to build more castles. As a result I am now internationally known as "the bully." this, after nearly 50 years of zero-tyranny rule??? very unfair!!
One of the many sons-of-guys-i-killed-30-years-ago now has a claim on part of wales. I am fighting it because it's held by an independent prince who has like zero soldiers and if we win then I get like, welsh taxes or some shit. I hope that I will finally win a war again
it's a good time to fight because about 5 years ago I ordered my daughter, the kingdom's lead military officer, to train all my shitty knights to be GOOD knights. She has been teaching the mayors of all the local towns to fight
mistyped several posts ago--I am fighting ON BEHALF OF this kid I raised in my house after killing his dad or something. Here he is. He's been loyal to me for years and, like so many men in my kingdom, suddenly became one-eyed at like age 18 in some kind of peasant uprising
We won the war. ireland is oozing east... and it's not gonna stop!!
Immediately after assigning all the young children of the nobles in the conquered lands to myself and various courtiers as wards in order to convert them to my culture, I have died of heart failure. This is only ruler #3 for me in this playthrough! I ruled for 50 years as queen
One thing I did not expect to acquire when I swapped characters to my son is his very expensive carpet which apparently makes people more successful at murdering me or undermining my rule
My previous extremely loyal vassal who I conquered Wales for now hates me. Like an idiot I canceled an existing murder plot against him bc nobody in the kingdom could reliably carry it out. Now I can't murder him for another 10 years. he hates me 100% and is a torturing schemer
I honestly do not mind if he kills me, though, because that just hastens me to the point where I take over as my son, who will own a lot more land. I'll see how long I last and just use this time to build a lot of castle upgrades in case he invades!
Things have gotten much more interesting--my son, who I wasn't paying much attention to, died of some OUTRAGEOUS wounds I didn't realize he'd gotten in a recent war. Look how fucked up he was!! One arm! Anyway, his son is now my heir. phew! thanks for having a baby, dead son
So my big enemy at home, the guy who owns Wales, called a war on vassals of my grandson. I realized that my grandson's opinion probably wouldn't be affected by this so I joined solely in order to make some money conquering bits of cornwall and ransoming people
I deliberately dropped out of the war after ransoming some good nobles and making about a hundred bucks. However my enemy was then disfigured and has become a man with an iron mask! Ho ho ho. But then he... coerced his way into a role as my spymaster. He gonna kill me for sure.
I then panicked because I don't want to die! I love life now!! I am a clinically depressed irish king (see above) but I don't want to die yet! Then the crusades started. A good distraction!! I have no idea if he can murder me in Jerusalem. Probably not? Big army time
It was only after leaving for Jersusalem that I realized he counts as one of my knights and therefore HE IS ON THE CRUSADE WITH ME!!!!! this is why he is wearing crusader clothes in the above picture. Here's what I look like as a crusader. Terrified of death and very depressed
well it turns out that the crusades are an absolute CLUSTERFUCK. it's just all these AI agents furiously occluding one another on a tiny strip of land. Truly this is some Historical Commentary. I can barely click on my army and cannot navigate without zooming in ALL the way
We won. My cousin is now queen of jerusalem. I picked her for this role because she has only a tiny claim to one of my duchies, is 53 years old, and has 0 children. Not sure how likely I am to inherit jerusalem but there is always a chance. Her brother is the "rakish" fucker
and no I will absolutely not be choosing to play as her. That' the choice in the second image above. I'm sticking to getting murdered in Ireland
I am very surprised how easy it was to come in #1 out of all the contributors to the event. I donated less than 200 bucks and sent only 4000 soldiers. I think we're just so early in "history" here that nobody in the world can consolidate power yet
I returned home and cleaned up some peasant uprisings that were taking place in my wife's territory in England (we live apart. :( ) This is the current local map. But things will get very hairy for Queen Constance of England when my wife and I die, my son will inherit half of it
I'm in a war to defend part of Wales, and I'm losing, but my heart is light!!! Ironman has DIED in the war I am currently waging. The text you get when your rival dies is so extreme, I love it. I lose stress too. Zero stress here anymore
We lost the ware and a small bit of Wales but I am so glad it happened, so grateful 4 war, thank you for killing my rival, that knave who cursed me with his presence, screw you mom (me) for educating him to be such a good spymaster
While I was busy in Wales, my relative who was queen of Jerusalem converted. This is wild. First in line to inherit is her childless brother, the extremely kind albino man who can't stop going to brothels. He never ended up my friend, but if he lives long he will rule Jerusalem??
oh my god. because he is now unlanded he moved to Jerusalem too and was also converted. he now hates me because we are of different faiths!!! what the fuck
Mael-Coluim, this guy, did not take his wife to Jerusalem with him so she didn't get converted. She now lives in Genoa and they're still married. I can't imagine what that's like, they must have the religion debuff against one another????
Update on my heir. My grandson has been honed into the perfect schemer. He has a special buff that makes him a better guest in people's houses, and a special buff that makes him "understand people" and manipulate them better. So stoked to be this guy
Defensively I have married my youngest daughter to the son of the Ironman spymaster who hated me so, for an alliance. This could be bad, but I have like six kids so a lot of really bad things would have to happen to like 10 people in order for his dynasty to inherit my kingdom.
Remember the child who was at one point the only suitable betrothal for my elderly queen? Well he's 41 years old now, and his life is interesting. His wife is a lesbian and his son-in-law has a learning disability but is *also* the best steward in the entire kingdom right now
This is perfect systems-based storytelling because it's all just abstract symbols, and the audience is so ready to fill in the gaps. Imagining what these people must be like in real life is such an interesting storytelling moment, but the game doesn't have to "render" it for you
done for the night. I always load straight into the game session from the launcher and always previously quit to desktop, so I never realized before that the main menu shows your current family standing in an album cover formation. This is incredible.
I'm back up and playing again 8 hours later because I have the day off. I wanted to quickly post about my sister, the Marshal of my kingdom who has been trained from birth to be the perfect soldier. She rules Connacht and recently remarried this much younger weirdo, Ralph
ralph is utterly godless, with negative faith points. He has useful claims... to lands that my grandson/heir actually OWNS right now. I will not be taking up Ralph's cause and I predict that this will be a problem someday because he has pretty high stats
