spend hours cleaning the kitchen and it's fucking wrecked in seconds. FUCK!

fucking thread

it's sparkling. everything is in place. the kitchen's cleaned. finally i can breathe. the very air feels lighter. i'm full of clarity and confidence. think i'll pop some bread in the toaster and have a snack. it won't be messy. no it won't be fucking filthy will it?

i lay my paper towel out. won't spill a crumb. the toaster goes POP and i turn around. what's this? every fucking dish is dirty. sink is fucking full. dishwasher overloaded with crusty fucking filthy silverware and plates and bowls. dirty dishes i didn't even know i had. FUCK!

stacks of dishes to my fucking ceiling. not just my dishes anymore. the neighbors' fucking dishes. my grandma's dishes. god's dishes. i try to butter my toast and a filthy saucepan falls from a dish mountain crushing my food. whispers from hell taunt me. "fuck you!"

i'm running down my fucking driveway screaming "save me" as dirty dishes pour from my home's doors and windows. crusty silverware rains from the sky. the voice of azreal booms from the heavens like a horn blast, "god hates you and your fucking kitchen you ignorant twat!"

a fucking tidal wave of soggy stained tupperware lids and cereal bowls chase me down the highway. fuck i just wanted some fucking toast. the national guard is out in full force trying to evacuate the county now. these dishes are fucking legion and they require a blood sacrifice.

i turn to face the dish tsunami and shout "take me you motherfuckers! take me whole. mind body and soul you fucking vile little rodent pustules! my heart is black and my spirit is dead. my body is a husk. take all of me and go fuck yourselves!"

and so i'm entombed in dirty dish hell. they envelop me. greasy spatulas above and below. stank coffee mugs as far as the eye can see in all directions. and then. nothing. i die. the kitchen mess lives on eternally. fuck you azreal. fuck kitchens. fuck dishes. fuck life.