No one:

Babies: Even though I have absolutely no knowledge about what a crackhead is, I'm going to proceed to be one every hour of every day. Is that sand? I want to eat it.

Someone: [bathes baby]

Baby: You probably think you have achieved something here, but I'm going to act very randomly but still somehow specifically undo everything you just did.

Everyone: [shows babies love and care]

Baby: I always contemplate life. And death. What, for instance, would happen if I climbed to the top of this table and fell down on purpose? Let's give it a go. Actually, I'm just going to keep trying and make sure you don't rest.

Everyone: [awake]

Babies: [sleeping]

Everyone: [sleeping]

Babies: I come alive in the night time. Hear my wails, o ye rightfully weary, and attend to me. Let's also do this again tomorrow. And the day after.

Someone: [feeds baby]

Baby: Did you know that throwing up for no damn reason is one of my hobbies? Well, if you didn't know, you are about to find out.

Tired adult: [stops paying attention to the baby for a literal second]

Baby: With this freedom, I will find a way to do something so profoundly dangerous that even I won't understand who or what I'm putting at risk.