[green flames shoot into the sky in the distance]
Koontz: oh no! It’s the dark mark!
[green flames coalesce into sinister miasma spelling out “hashtagistandwithjkrowling”]
Barker: oh shit
Barker: here we go again

JK Rowling: i am returning my human rightsss award
Rowling: everyone! i want you all to pay attention!
Rowling: I am returning this human rights award
Barker: yeah ok
Rowling: would you like to know why?
Barker: no
Rowling:
Rowling: COME ON
Rowling: COME ON ASSSSK ME WHY

Rowling: i am returning this human rightsss award
Rowling: becaussse i am taking a principled sstand
Barker: what, against human right?
Rowling: yesss
Rowling: i mean NO
Rowling: well ssome of them

Rowling: i refussse to keep a human rightss award from any organization that does not understand that your gender depends on whether you emerged from your leather egg with a hemipenes or a cloaca
Barker:
Barker: jeez kinda miss when you were just talkin about your ickabiggle

Rowling: this is an extremely ssselflesss thing i’m doing
Rowling: a huge ssacrifice for me
Rowling: i hope everyone appreciatesss thisss
Rowling: the hashtag BETTER be trending
Rowling: for I, JK Rowling, have done a thing!

Rowling: Watch this, I'm totally returning this award
Barker: i heard your human rights award got repossessed
Barker: on account of you not liking human rights
Rowling: that is
Rowling:
Rowling: well i didn't want it anyway
Rowling: it clashed with my 4 foot gate

Rowling: my 4 foot gate which protects me from trans people
Rowling: it will be impossible for ANYONE to scale it!
Rowling: you simply cannot climb over a 4 foot fence with rectilinear locomotion
Barker: people have arms tho
Rowling: who has the what now