Long-time readers will know about my feud with the bad continent of Antarctica https://twitter.com/zizifothsi/status/1242190385474043910

So the other day I was chatting with @itsdaneesaur on the subject and hit upon an extremely serious question

And it turns out that not only HAVE people wedded In Antarctica... you can buy a whole adventure wedding package for it

And it’s AWFUL https://youradventurewedding.com/antarctica/ 

I don’t know if the person writing this copy actually hates Antarctica and smug couples (as is correct), or loves them, like some kind of monster

Also nobody says “epic” any more what are you 70

It screams something alright

Also: you’re wrong

Love to celebrate my love and lifelong commitment to another human being for the sole purpose of making my insufferable friends jealous, this certainly doesn’t make me sound like an unbearably smug twat

1. Christ I hate this
2. More than half of the world’s species of penguins live only outside Antarctica you absolute dumbass get rekt https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/five-favorite-penguins-outside-antarctica-15436252/

The forced jollity of the tone makes me worry that the writer is at gunpoint

If any part of your wedding is done on a dare then you should probably reconsider your life choices

Also, when has being dared to spend a night in a horribly cursed place ever worked out well for anyone

Please stop shouting at me

“Sure, you can get married in Svalbard instead, if you’re a PUSSY”

FUCK EVERYONE ELSE THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR PERFECT LOVE

“Darling, we wish you’d just consider a small ceremony at home with family, and then you can go wherever you’d like on your honeymoon!”

“SHUT UP MOM STOP BULLYING ME THE ADVENTURE WEDDING WEBSITE SAYS YOU’RE GASLIGHTING ME AND YOU’RE A TOXIC NARCISSIST”

You’ve got the GUTS right??? You’re TOUGH ENOUGH to get MARRIED in ANTARCTICA at outrageous expense right??? Or are you some kind of LOSER

I hope everyone who buys this adventure wedding package gets haunted

Haunted in the BUM. I hope they all have uncomfortable ghost poops for the rest of their life as punishment for being self-important prats