fuck of grammar and spelling mistakes. it's not even a big deal.

fucking thread.

fuck this. it's like we've been brain washed by seventh grade english class into thinking that complying with a bunch of shitty rules makes you smart. no. fuck no. oh you can pass a middle school english class? good brag. very impressive. you're average. congratulations.

let's take twitter for instance. these are fucking tweets. you're not being paid to tweet them. you're not being graded. it's just communication. are you communicating the thing you want? if so, good! who gives a fucking shit if it's perfect or not.

oh did you misspell a word? the irony of some asshole pointing that out. sorry you aren't smart enough for your brain to assemble what the author meant to say there. sorry the author wasn't treating a fucking social media post like it's an editorial for usa today.

fuck capitalization rules. most of them are straight up fucking banal. capitalized words at the beginning of sentences? why? you know it's the first word in a sentence. it doesn't have to be special. who really gives a shit? i'm never doing it again just to piss people off.

i don't even think of tweets as prose. to me the character limit begs you to defy the standard rules. i keep an apa style guide shoved up my ass whenever i post here.

hey smartass, guess what? pretty much everyone know the difference between your & you're, or there, their, and they're. the fucking hubris of a person pointing out this mistake. oh good for you, you caught a commonly overlooked mistake. congrats on possessing common knowledge.

someone's going to reply to that last one "it isn't very common knowledge." fuck off. it's still not impressive. nobody isnsver impressed when you correct it. it's just your own masturbatory horseshit. everyone else things youyr an insufferable tit.

the only time i love seeing a grammar/spelling hawks hawking is when another one is at it and they're not living up to their own standard. because you know what? none of these fucking people are ever as perfect as they let on. if you're gonna criticize, you better be perfect.

you shouldn't have to be though. unless perhaps you're dan rather or someone who's a professional making some kind of official statement. but the average social media poster just posting thoughts, jokes, and opinions? fuck nah.

use the wrong their/they're/there as a fucking flex. "this isn't important enough to me to take time editing it." fuck yes.

a lot of people get onto me and say "dad that WRITES?" fucker yes i am dad that writes. i write however the fuck i want. i don't edit or proofread these tweets. these fucking threads take me five minutes to write.

it's just become inanely trendy too, to the point where it's cliché. oh you just can't STAND it when people use the wrong there/their/they're? never heard that one before six billion times since 2005. you're so quirky and cool.

know what? if you're able to get your point across the you fucking rule and i don't give a fucking donkey's jizz splat if there's a misspelling in there.

maybe i don't want the voice in my posts to come off like it's paula perfection in eighth grade reading an essay from a motherfucking houghton hifflin harcourt text.

don't feel called out. i love you motherfuckers.

all this being said @BeeeejEsq is the foremost authority on noticing errors and the king of grammar/spelling and i will listen to everything he says on the matter.

i hate that it bothers me when i've made an error. it's so fucking dumb. i put so little effort into these tweets. it shouldn't even matter. to anyone. fuck my life.

ok I'm done ranting.

lmao two words into this is a mistake lmao fucking love it

if you saw "of" in the top tweet of this and your brain couldn't assemble "off" then im sorry but you're too stupid for this.