CW: religious trauma, painful sex

I keep thinking about that comment Shapiro’s doctor wife (that’s what he calls her) made about wet pussies being infected and remembering that nearly every single one of my Christian friends who got married talked about how they tore so badly

that it hurt to walk on their honeymoon and how they had to call in a maid to change the sheets because of how bloody it got and how they only had sex once or twice the whole honeymoon because it hurt so bad.

And how, my first time PiV, because of those things, I insisted we

use lube, and my partner was like, “Absolutely, we can use lube. I just want to let you know that, based on things we’ve done before, you will absolutely not need the lube. But we’ll use it whenever you want.”

And how I definitely didn’t need it. And how tons of people need to

use lube and that is FINE. Lube exists for a reason!!! It’s not bad to have a dry vagina when you have lube! No one should shame you for that! No one should be turned off by that! Vaginas do not always self-lubricate, and so many conditions affect it!
But also, no one should be

putting things inside dry vaginas until lube has been used. Because it’s pretty dangerous, medically.

And the problem going on with my Christian friends, and the problem we are insinuating is going on with doctor and Shapiro, has nothing to do with a “performance issue” on the

vagina’s part. It’s about all of these cishetero couples having PiV without any other sexual acts first to “turn on” the person with the vagina so that they don’t tear with the friction.

I hope that, if you’re someone who has a vagina that does tend to be dryer, you do not

internalize the jokes being made today as being made against you. They’re not. They’re being made against all the many, many, many, many, many cishet men who never try to satisfy their cishet women partners.

I just wanna be so so so clear on the fact that medications, medical conditions, age, hydration, infections, vaginal atrophy, breastfeeding, eating disorders, taking too many baths, swimming in a pool with bad chemical balance, menopause, douching, having a designer vagina...

it can be/usually is painful and itchy and awful and it’s not a joke. 9 out of 10 people with vaginas will experience intense dryness in their lives.
The joke is not about the vagina. The joke is about the cishet men who want to believe they’re good at sex but don’t even bother

to take care of their partners, whether through sexual acts or words of affirmation or being attractive to their partner or using some goddamn lube! :)

But yeah anyway the Christians I grew up around, who were from different parts of the country, all thought having painful honeymoon sex was normal. And it’s not.