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Remember that show "What Not To Wear?" I watched it allllll the time when I was like, late teens, early 20s. In the opening sequence the two hosts would walk past road signs with fashion tips on them and one was "No mini-skirts after 35"
Today I turn 35
Today I turn 35
35 to younger me always seemed like the boundary between "old" & "not old," like....no miniskirts after 35. After 35 chances of having a baby are way lower & you& #39;re considered "high risk" if pregnant. 35 was like...well I& #39;m either gonna have it figured out or I& #39;m gonna be a loser
Like by 35 if I wasn& #39;t published I should probably quit writing; if I wasn& #39;t getting my poetry picked up by journals/magazines I should probably quit poetry; if I wasn& #39;t good enough at whatever it was I& #39;d started doing I should quit because it was too late
What sucks is I kinda still feel that way even though I know I shouldn& #39;t :/
Because at 35 I know I probably won& #39;t ever have access to the writing workshops and meet-ups and professional organizations that have been the key to other people& #39;s careers. I know I won& #39;t get my MFA. And even though I& #39;ve been treating my ADHD I still feel the ADHD Freeze
when I try and finish a story I start.
It feels like a lot of doors have already closed and unfortunately there& #39;s nothing I can really do about those doors. It& #39;s depressing!! In a lot of ways!!
It feels like a lot of doors have already closed and unfortunately there& #39;s nothing I can really do about those doors. It& #39;s depressing!! In a lot of ways!!
I mean I& #39;ve succeeded in some ways. I& #39;ve managed to make friends like a real grown-up. I& #39;m raising a child somewhat competently! I rescue cats. One of my massive student loans is paid down enough it& #39;s not destroying me financially. I& #39;m still married
But in the ways that matter to me I& #39;m still........35 and that voice in my head is like "ok time to quit remember"
It& #39;s really.....not great
It& #39;s really.....not great
Also I look ok for 35. Only a bit crone-like
