Everyone wants to be SUCCESSFUL. But few people take the time and energy to define the success they want. As a result, they spend most, if not all, of their lives chasing what society superimposes on them as success. This makes them unhappy. There's a better way.

(A thread.)

Common examples of socially imposed success include a bigger house; a faster car; a more prestigious position; greater relevance on the internet.

Yet, even if someone finally attains these so-called successes, they are often left wanting. No fun. No lasting fulfillment.

In ancient eastern psychology there is a concept known as the "hungry ghost." The hungry ghost has an endless stomach. He keeps on eating, stuffing himself sick, but he never feels full. It’s a severe disorder.

Lots of people are hungry ghosts. I know I can be one at times.

Why?

The survival of a consumerist economy, like the one most of us live in, depends on the creation of hungry ghosts. But we can choose to opt out of this game. We don’t have to become hungry ghosts. We simply need to step back and reflect upon what it is that we ACTUALLY want.

This can be a frightening question. Here's Erich Fromm (one of my intellectual heroes), back in 1941:

“Asking what someone really wants questions the very basis on which their whole activity is built. People tend, therefore, to get rid as soon as possible of these thoughts.”

We avoid questioning our "success" by numbing ourselves with mass-produced booze, mass-produced drugs, mass-produced food, mass-produced porn, mass-produced television.

And so the cycle of unsatisfying success repeats. Consumer confidence is high. But genuine happiness is low.

We owe it to ourselves to interrupt this cycle, to ask: What do I REALLY want? This can be scary. But even scarier is lying on your deathbed and realizing you lived as a hungry ghost, that you spent most of your life striving for empty goals dictated to you by external forces.

Perhaps it's time to redefine success.

Success is not something that you reach—not something that is outside of yourself, a few bucks away, just down the field.

Success is creating a life you want to live in right now. This often requires letting go of material and ego goals.

According to decades of psychological research, this kind of REAL success has only a few requirements: your basic needs for food, shelter, health care, and income are met; and you have a sense of autonomy, mastery, and belonging.

It has little to do with anything else, really.

Success is about selecting pursuits based on how much you’ll enjoy the process of doing them. After all, it is the process that makes up ninety-nine percent of your life.
End results, good or bad, are ephemeral. But the process? That’s how you spend your days, months, and years.

Success is stepping back and asking yourself: What do I REALLY want? And then doing what you can to align your actions—the unfolding process of your life—with how you answer. This is how you create a more fulfilling and worthwhile kind of success. https://thegrowtheq.com/redefining-success-so-it-doesnt-crush-your-soul/