"the fuck you're doing here, morty? aren't you supposed to be sleeping over at your little boyfriend's house?"

"matthew's on a camping trip with his family, and he hasn't came out yet so..."

morty sighs. "can we not talk about this right now, rick? ju-just pass me that beer."

"oh so you're drinking now?"

"of course. i mean, i'm already in college. stop treating me like a kid."

rick scoffs but he hands the cold beer to him anyway. morty thanks him before he takes the cool aluminum to nuzzle on his neck and cheek.

"god that's better."

"can't you invent something to make the house cooler? i can't sleep because of this heat."

"i'm an inventor, morty. a scientist, not a fucking genie. your pussy ass has to stop complaining for every little inconvenience you encounter in your sheltered life."

"sheltered?"

"yes, 'sheltered'," rick insists, even if they both know the opposite is true. "now will you shut up? i'm trying to watch interdimensional cable here."

morty opens his mouth for a moment, looking like he wants to say something else but he decides not to in the end.

silence between the both of them ensues. only the sounds of random improvisational shows and ads drone in the quiet of midnight.

rick shifts uncomfortably on his side of the living room couch.

truth be told, he couldn't sleep too but it's not because of the heat.

rick would rather die than admit morty's presence in the house for the break has thrown him off the loop.

he didn't expect to see him that morning struggling to open his childhood room with his stuff in tow. he didn't expect morty's lips to tilt on a sad smile when he saw him.

rick drank his own beer while sneaking a peek surreptitiously. he didn't want to be caught looking. he needed to keep his facade of disinterest if he wanted to survive this night unscathed.

morty had changed. he didn't just grow up, he blossomed.

that once thin frail body is now replaced with more muscle than fat. he might be still slender but rick notices there's a strength within him. his hair is longer now, purposefully kept wild and untamed to frame his face. morty's adam's apple bobs up and down as he takes a sip.

when was the last time rick had touched him?

he searches the archives of his brain for the memory and he finds it covered in cobwebs.

the last time was a hug from a year ago. the one he can't reciprocate because he was too angry, too petty to hug him back.

rick couldn't forgive him for leaving for college because morty didn't fucking understand he was the goddamn reason he stayed in this dimension in the first place.

now he's here all alone, a drunk decrepit old man who's got nothing to do but sulk in the garage. fucking pathetic.

morty was going to grow up eventually. aging was inevitable. rick couldn't do anything to stop it- well, he could... technically, but he knew morty would never forgive him if he ever did, and that was counterintuitive.

he never wanted morty to actually hate him.

but right now he was thinking that maybe hatred was the better option. instead of... this. whatever 'this' was. them sitting so far apart in the couch, the space between them feeling like an insurmountable valley.

a goddamn ocean.

they used to sit shoulder to shoulder.

morty's head used to fit perfectly in the spot of his shoulder when rick leaned back to put an arm around him, watching tv.

but now he's older, it's not appropriate.

rick now can't use the disguise of fond platonic familial feelings to keep morty as close to him as possible.

"you uhh- you need something?"

rick blinks. he doesn't even register for five seconds that he's the one being spoken to.

fuck- he got caught looking.

real smooth, sanchez. real smooth.

he scrambles to throw some bullshit excuse but morty speaks before he gets the chance.

"i... i missed this, you know?"

morty confesses to the air and he closes his eyes. he recovers fast though. "what? staying up late to watch tv? doing nothing and being an idle useless shit like your dad, morty?"

rick tries to disarm the bomb by dampening up the statement.

"i meant just being around you."

"if you really did, you'd come home more often," rick says, the venom seeping in his tone. "don't fucking lie to me, morty. you're just here because you're not fucking distracted by little boyfriend."

he should stop. he should shut up-

"you never fucking visited until-"

"i'm not the one who owns a portal gun, rick."

the fuck is he implying now?

"and what exactly did you expect me to do, morty? break in your dorm to drag you out of there and force you to go on a classic rick and morty adventure?"

"there wasn't anything stopping you from doing that," morty whispers to himself weakly, but rick still catches it.

an unknown emotion tightens his chest.

he laughs bitterly. "are you actually complaining i wasn't being selfish asshole enough?"

"and what if i am?"

a fierce boldness ignites morty's eyes and it's just how rick remembers it when the boy puts his foot down in their adventures to force him to fix whatever mess they made- to do the right thing.

rick also notices the blush in his cheeks and the empty can of beer in his palms.

"you fucking lightweight, you're already drunk."

"i'm not drunk-"

"yes you are," rick insists.

"i don't- i don't want to stop talking about this-"

"tomorrow, morty. we can talk about this tomorrow."

"you're lying. you're not going to say anything. you'll make me forget-"

rick doesn't argue with that. he will if he has to.

fortunately nothing has happened yet so he just takes morty's shoulders from where he's standing (yeah because he has to be dramatic like that, typical morty behavior) and sits him down on his original space in the couch.

rick returns to his seat. he knows it's a bad decision.

he should be retreating back to his room and let morty deal with this alone.

neither of them are in the right state of mind to be discussing something as heavy as this. they even haven't talked for such a long time.

they both take a breather, rick drinking again but from his flask this time.

it's another bad decision, he thinks as he groans to himself. but the liquor hits his throat just the right way and he hopes the burn is strong enough to keep his mouth shut.

he checks on morty again just to see if he's alright. oh he looks better than 'alright'.

"the fuck you smiling about morty?"

"no-nothing."

it's not 'nothing' - rick knows where that dopey grin is coming from, he knows it all too well that morty has reached that stupidity.

that spectrum of inebriation where everything feels nice, where you feel so soft and fuzzy. where the world is just full of goddamn sunshine and rainbows.

rick pretends he doesn't notice how morty's looking at him like he hung the moon and the stars. he didn't want to be a fool.

he didn't want to be seeing things he shouldn't be seeing, reading into his gazes too much just because he wanted to find a sliver of something that wasn't there.

morty lolls his head side to side, like an adorable bubble head. the kid (yes the kid, that's what rick still calls him in his head) hums a tune to himself.

"matthew's really nice, you know."

rick rolls his eyes, but let's him prattle on nevertheless. it's a safe topic.

painful... but safe.

"he comes over all the time, cooks for me when i forget to eat, hands me a coffee when i have to pull an all nighter. he takes me home when i'm too drunk to drive but he never takes advantage. he never raises his voice."

"sounds like a real catch, morty."

"yeah he is," morty smiles to himself. it leaves a bitter taste in rick's mouth to see that.

"i didn't even know you were gay, especially with the whole jessica obsession and all that."

"you would've noticed if you were paying attention."

rick shrugs. maybe, maybe not.

"anyway, i feel kinda guilty even because we're taking it so slow, but matthew's nice like that. he won't force me to do anything that i don't want to."

"a complete opposite of me," rick grumbles, remembering all the times he took advantage of morty's subservience in adventures.

"a complete opposite of you," morty echoes.

rick rubs a palm against his eyes to soothe the incoming headache. he down some more into the couch to relax himself.

hearing morty list off someone else's good traits is far preferable than not hearing his voice at all.

"but he's being too considerate... it's kinda boring to be honest."

"oh?"

rick sighs, trying his best to be casual about all this. not like his mind is racing 300 thoughts a second, right?

a pause, a stillness passes between them.

next thing he knows, the weight of the cushions shifts.

morty must be getting up and going back to his room-

rick motions to sit up too, but that action is aborted when he feels a weight settle upon his lap.

he opens his eyes, inhaling sharply.

"what the fuck," he curses, gritting his teeth, "do you think you're doing morty."

morty traps him, putting his shoulders against the seat.

"push me off," morty dares him.

"morty-"

"you're not pushing me off," he observes for both of them. rick reflexively sets his hand on his hips to move him but for some reason he can't.

who's he kidding? he knows why he can't.

"need i fucking remind you of the boyfriend we were just discussing, morty?"

rick resorts to words.

he's sharp. he's the smartest man in the universe. he knows what to say to stop this madness.

"as if you're a shining paragon of monogamy."

"don't make this about me."

"and one, i'm not a fucking hookup just because you're drunk ass is horny. two, i don't like fucking sharing, morty. stop being so fucking selfish-

"you could just ask," morty starts to say, ignoring all of his words. this fucking kid-

"what the fuck are you talking about?"

"you don't have to share. i could... i could break up with him. ju- just tell me."

rick wants to push him, but not away. he wants to push him down the fucking floor.

but he still resists.

"whatever fucked up game you're trying to play with me, morty. i'm not in the mood."

"i mean it, rick," morty smiles again and goddamn he wants to wipe that grin off with his own lips.

"i'd do that for you. i'd always do that for you..."

the earnestness in his tone penetrates some of rick's defenses. he feels like someone shot him in the chest with a thousand arrows. there isn't enough oxygen for him to breathe in.

morty leans in, closing his eyes for the kill, for the kiss but rick angles his neck away.

"call him- i want you to call him right now."

understanding of what he's asking dawns on morty's eyes and he clumsily takes the phone in his pocket, hurriedly tapping on the screen for his contacts.

"do you want to-"

"put it on loudspeaker. i want to fucking hear it myself."

the phone rings, a cruel foreboding of what's to come to the innocent receiver of the call.

morty repositions himself on rick's lap, his back against his chest.

rick's hands wander everywhere on his skin, too lost on the drunken greed of having the permission to touch him.

he takes advantage of both of their momentary insanities, kissing morty's neck, painting the canvas of his skin with bite marks and hickies.

he might not be the victor yet, not the champion, but he's sure as hell plundering the treasure.

there is no going back, anyway.

morty hisses as rick assaults him with a particularly deep bite. the older man laves his tongue upon the mark in a silent apology, tasting the salt of the sweat in his skin.

the call is answered.

a voice roughened with sleep greets morty sweetly. he sounds much older than him.

they exchange the perfunctory greetings of a normal couple. rick seethes in morty's faux amiable tone, like he's not sitting on his grandpa's lap, like he's not going to break this boy's heart-

"what's up baby? why'd you call? are you having trouble sleeping."

'baby'

rick wanted to cut his goddamn throat open.

"i'm fine, ba- ma-matthew," morty slips but he recovers. "listen i have something to tell you," he says solemnly.

"sure, sure. what is it baby?"

rick licks a covetous stripe up morty's neck and bites the shell of his ear, snaking his hands underneath his shirt to grope his chest.

"tell him," rick whispers directly to his ear. "tell him you never wanted him."

"matthew, i never wanted you..."

the other line is stunned to silence.

"i'm so-"

"don't you fucking dare to apologize for this, morty," rick warns him, the promise of violence transparent on his tone. he twists those rosy nubs in retaliation. morty moans helplessly.

"ar-are you with someone else?"

"there wasn't anyone else really," morty says cryptically but rick understands the meaning behind those loaded words.

"it was- it was always him."

rick freezes, his hands stop wandering.

"morty you sound drunk and confused. let's talk about this in the morning-"

"go tell him i'm going to fuck you better than he ever did."

morty follows the command without hesitation, not even mincing his words. rick haphazardly opens morty's fly and grabs his hard-on.

what a fucking slut. getting off on cruelty.

he's goddamn perfect.

by now matthew has probably understood the situation he's in. how he's just a pawn in their little game.

"morty please, i don't want to hear none of this-" he begs pathetically.

"i love him."

morty finally admits, and rick's mind conjures up the sound of lightning cracking.

there's a full blown storm in his head.

he's knocked breathless.

this is something more than just touch now. this is something more than kisses. this is something more than just fucking.

morty has crossed the line by uttering the words he's heard in his dreams for so long.

rick loses his patience then and there, finally swiping the phone out of morty's hands, the screen almost cracking from the strength in his grip.

"don't you fucking try to talk to him again if you want to keep breathing. do you understand?"

the poor boy is speechless.

"i said do you fucking understand?"

"...ye-yes, sir," the boy on the phone replies weakly, his survival instincts kicking in at the sound of a larger predator ready to leap and rip his heart out.

"if you ever touch morty again, i will fucking break every bone in your body."

rick doesn't wait for a reply to know his point is made. he throws the phone to the wall, the electronic shattering into pieces.

he pushes morty down the couch, knocking out the breath in his lungs from the force. rick takes his wife beater off in one smooth motion.

"say it again."

because he's losing his goddamn mind. he feels his sanity slipping. he needs to hear it again.

"i love you."

rick closes his eyes and swallows down the emotion clawing up his throat before he covers morty with his whole weight.

"say it again."

"fucking say it until i believe you."

"i love you so much, rick."

morty repeats the admission until rick drowns in his words.

he doesn't know what he wants to do first, either to kiss him hard til he's blue or keep hearing those words. he greedily settles on doing both.

rick kisses him for the first time.

he always imagined that if it ever happened he'll take it slow, show morty how precious he is, hoping he could fully make him understand how deep the ache in his chest is when he left that day.

but there is no place for 'slow' in 'too late'

he devours the boy's mouth, tongues sliding on top of each other. there is an urgency in their rhythm, desperately trying to make up for the lost time.

rick leans back and burns the memory of morty's face for their first time and stores it away in the archives of his mind.

"why didn't you stay?"

the final thread, the final piece in the puzzle that didn't make any sense. he has to know why.

"i-i had to know for sure," morty smiles up at him, melancholic and bittersweet. "i was always with you. i spent every waking moment of my life beside you."

"i thought i was confused. god you don't know how disgusted i was with myself," morty strokes rick's cheek, but his eyes ducking down to the safety of his collarbones, away from his penetrating gaze. "that's why i left. i thought i was going to get over you eventually."

"but i was wrong. so wrong," morty confesses shakily, meeting his eyes this time.

"i realized that i needed you, no matter how far i distanced myself, no matter who i met, no matter how much i grew up. i waited all the time in my bed to hear the swish of your portal."

"i wanted to wake up from the nightmare of the reality that i left you, and that i'm all alone. i wanted you to be there when i opened my eyes, always ready to drag me somewhere in god knows what dimension to steal whatever stupid scifi thing you wanted."

he's panting now from all the confessions spilling from his mouth.

"i never stopped wanting to go on adventures with you, rick. i promised," he closes his eyes, a stray tear escapes down his cheek.

"i promised you a hundred years."

rick anoints his forehead with a kiss.

it's been a long time since he's felt so raw, so vulnerable. he thought he would never feel like this ever again.

he never had to beg for anything in his long miserable life. he was a god. he could turn a black hole into another big bang.

but now that was about to change.

"please don't ever leave me again."

morty laughs, despite everything. the weight on his chest is gone now, soothed, and healed. "like i have choice, especially after everything."

"well," rick says as he leans in to kiss him again with no intentions of letting go this time.

"you're goddamn right about that."

-end-

SO WHOOOOO ANOTHER JOURNEY, ANOTHER LONG ASS THREAD FINISHED.

first of all, i would like to thank everyone who liked and retweeted, especially those of you who commented. thank you so much for the support, it really inspires me!

second, i thought about writing smut but in the end the feels train won out skksksksks, sorry about that if you were looking forward to sexy times. i'll make it up to you on another thread, i promise

gotta rest for now!!! will reply when i wake up!!!

again, thank you!

"babe it's time to add this to your google drive of threads for you to clean up and edit to publish on ao3!"

jesus, it didn't feel like 3k. what the actual fuck...