The human obsession with blame & punishment is at the root of so much toxicity. We don’t like feeling pain without someone being at fault & without them intentionally hurting us. Easier to justify indulging your worst inclinations if you convince yourself you’ve been attacked.

In reality, sometimes people do try to hurt us, but most of the time things just happen. Do you know the difference between how it feels to be angry vs how it feels to be disappointed? Or do you emotionally conflate the two? I did for a long time. That shit sucked.

Because you can’t just judge other people that way. It boomerangs. You can’t decide whenever you feel pain it MUST be somebody’s fault, and not include yourself in that lineup. And when you run out of other people to blame for every painful experience, all you’ll have is you.

How do we imagine a world of free people if our thoughts about ourselves & others are primarily punitive? How do we lead a world of free people without modeling? Is our desire to punish bigger than our desire to be free? Those are big questions and they’ll take time to answer.

Some of you will want to make this about something specific, and I get it. You want to have the debate/argument/discussion you already know how to have, with all of the context and players you’re already familiar with. An understandable desire. That’s Just not what I’m here for.