We don't talk about lawsuits much in medicine. Too painful. I got sued when I was a resident. An intern had written a note that was misinterpreted to mean that I had arrogated to myself the role of the attending. The patient had died, and it had been a terrible, sad situation.

There was no malpractice committed, although of course I searched my mind and heart with relentless self criticism. I lost my self confidence for about 6 months and struggled to find my rhythm clinically, second- and third- and fourth-guessing every decision I made.

The legal process took 5 years. The depositions immediately made clear that no malpractice had been committed and neither I nor the intern had made any of the decisions that were alleged to be malpractice. The plaintiff's attorney held on for 4 more years hoping the

insurance company would settle. That whole time I kept thinking that I was a defective physician. Then a few days before the trial date the plaintiff's attorney abandoned the lawsuit as not meritorious. It's been about fifteen years since the suit. I've had to report it

every time I get a new license or credential at a new hospital many dozens of times, but about five years ago it became remote enough that I didn't have to think about it anymore. Then today I got an email that a state where I'll be helping with some telemedicine wants all

the legal documentation. I don't even know where it is. Got me thinking about all my friends and colleagues who have been sued and all the people who have felt so abandoned and betrayed in terrible grief that they have turned to malpractice lawsuits. I don't have any special

solutions to offer (although I know there are good proposals for reform that are proposed), but I do have tenderness in my heart for people who have born the tragic burden of suing or being sued. You're not alone in your grief.