JK Rowling: for too long have I endured the muggless who do not undersstand my ssstruggle
Rowling: it iss time for a new order to rise
Rowling: I GIVE YOU THE SSOCIETY OF MIDDLE BROW INTELLECTS WHO GET YELLED AT ONLINE A LOT
Rowling: AND ALSO NOAM CHOMSKY IS HERE FOR SOME REASON

Rowling: finally a forum dedicated to a frank and open exchange of ideasss
Rowling: away from the hectoring ssscoldsss of online cancel culture
Rowling: truly the most pressing issue of our timesss

Rowling: what newssss brothersss
Jesse Singal: shouldn’t trans people have separate drinking fountains? I’m just askin questions here
Malcolm Gladwell: if you think about it, true knowledge is impossible so who can actually say that tobacco isn’t good for you?
Rowling: YESSS

David Brooks: I am David brooks
Rowling: YESSS YESSS
Rowling: thisss is the open and honest debate I was envisssioning
David Brooks [pounding table]: I! AM! DAVID! BROOKS!

Rowling: Sstate your grievances
Fareed Zakaria: I want people to stop making fun of me for supporting the Iraq War
Zakaria: and also for plagarism
Rowling: the ssolution is ssimple
Rowling: we must sign this ssletter in our lacertilian ichor
Rowling: or blood if you're a mammal

Bari Weiss: they should make a law that everyone has to buy a soda stream
Gladwell: you ever thought about how we're all made of space gas so maybe nothing exists [inhales cigarette] ah that smooth Carolina flavor
David Brooks: I. AM. DAVID. BROOKS.
Rowling: FINALLY! MY PEERS

this thread is a little bit of a departure for us, we usually make fun of horror writers. so if that's the sort of thing you like, reminder you can get our digital book on gumroad https://twitter.com/midnight_pals/status/1257795609660026880