INTERVIEWER: says here you were arrested for money laundering
ME: that's a typo. it should say monkey laundering
*the world's cleanest chimpanzee walks past in the background*
INTERVIEWER: is that the whole tweet?
ME: yes

INTERVIEWER: says here you were arrested for money laundering
ME: that's a typo. it should say monkey laundering
INTERVIEWER: is there a lot of money in that?
ME: not really, but my clients were mostly criminals looking to disguise drug proceeds via a legitimate income stream

INTERVIEWER: says here you were arrested for money laundering
ME: that's a typo. it should say monkey laundering
INTERVIEWER: monkey laundering?
ME: sorry, i misspoke. i meant to say 'monk key laundering'
*a Franciscan monk wanders past with the cleanest fucking key you've ever s

got much work done today thom?

you people will retweet any old toss, eh

INTERVIEWER: says here you were arrested for money laundering
ME: that's a typo. it should say money lawn daring
INTERVIEWER: what

ME: *talking to a roll of sod* i'll give you ten quid if you can eat a whole jar of mayonnaise without throwing up