Read on Twitter
As far as I know, I was the first person to make this offer to people at cons. And as it gained traction, and more people offered, I became increasingly uneasy at who was doing the offering, for reasons Mikki states. I also made that offer for reasons I will expand upon below: https://twitter.com/Karnythia/status/1276698142898032645
Many people who follow me know by now that I am autistic. However, this may not be immediately apparent in social situations because I have developed coping mechanisms that "pass" as neurotypical.
And it is because you will almost never see me without a person I consider "safe".
And it is because you will almost never see me without a person I consider "safe".
As an autistic baby author, I was immediately thrust into social situations that made me uneasy and overstimulated: making professional connections with other writers, interacting with fans, participating in signings and conferences, giving talks.
I have difficulty reading the room. I have difficulty with eye contact. I have difficulty with social niceties. I have difficulty in conversations. I did not know how to navigate these difficulties in a professional setting.
So I bring along a "safety friend". Sometimes it's my husband, and sometimes it's a good friend who is well aware of my difficulties. It's not a foolproof solution, but they help me navigate conversations and pick up on social cues.
And they're there if I ever need extraction.
And they're there if I ever need extraction.
Many autistic adults navigating professional spaces have extraction plans for social situations. Often it's because we become overstimulated. The person I bring along not only smooths over extraction, but makes me feel safe during overstim. I feel vulnerable during overstim.
So when I made that offer to be someone's "safety friend" at cons, it was through a lens of understanding a vulnerability and need for safe extraction. What I did not expect (and this is my fault) was people I did not know, and cannot verify, who piggy-backed off my offer.
And so I began to feel uneasy and almost deleted the tweet, for all the reasons Mikki very astutely pointed out.
Now I'm uncomfortable that my offer, made from a very specific point of view, has been coopted. I'm not mad at people for doing it, but I've been uneasy. That's all.
Now I'm uncomfortable that my offer, made from a very specific point of view, has been coopted. I'm not mad at people for doing it, but I've been uneasy. That's all.
