I wish i could remember the names of all the men who have put their hand on my thigh while sitting at a bar, or leaned in close to smell or touch my hair or stared at my chest during entire conversations at conventions. I'm pretty much done socializing at cons now.

I'm done laughing and waving off invites to hotel rooms for more drinks. Im tired of having to watch over my shoulder all weekend for guys who linger at my table and seem to tail me around.

I'm glad that I have guys at cons who I KNOW will help me in dangerous situations, but I hate that I can't socialize at a bar with my peers without feeling overwhelmingly anxious unless one of those guys is within eyesight.

I hate that even now I feel like I can't name anyone, because again. So much is such a blur, and I'm terrible with remembering all the people I meet at cons.

At one of the first HeroesCons I ever went to, probably 10 years ago, another artist followed me around the entire weekend. Like. From a weird, creepy distance. Obvious and often enough that other people noticed abd formed a human shield around me at the bar.

A few days after the show, I was tagged on Facebook in a picture he had drawn of me, obviously while I was at the bar. He captioned it "the one who got away".

I was SO freaked out and disturbed, and now, for the life of me, I can't remember his name. I never saw him at a show again. But I still think about it at every convention and I dont feel safe.