I guess I missed the Twitter ADHD discussion but can I still say something? As an adult diagnosed with ADHD and living with the consequences of going 34 years before getting that diagnosis?

Overall, when you look at the results, I was a very good student in high school and college. I got very good grades and I was known for the quality of my work. So when I'd voice the fact that something didn't seem right about me, about how I worked, I'd get dismissed

After I graduated and started speaking with therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists I'd mention issues I had and they'd ask "did you do well in school?" and I'd say "yes, but--"

The "yes" was all that mattered. I couldn't have ADHD!!

What finally did it, what finally pushed a psychiatrist to diagnose me was when I pushed back against the "yes" and said before he could reply "I did well in college because I was on cocaine for the majority of it."

That stopped him dead.

Success shouldn't count when it only exists because you're on fvcking coke to get your work done. I succeeded because I had unhealthy coping methods, I had "solutions" that were worse than the problem. I was "successful" because I took a dangerous drug for four years

Instead of getting help, I was told that my success meant I didn't need help even if the reason for that success was incredibly dangerous and unhealthy

Jesus in true ADHD fashion I wandered away from this thread, took a shower, started watching SpongeBob and then glanced at my laptop and realized I'd been in the middle of writing a thread about ADHD

Anyway. This is a relevant thread I did recently about how ADHD still impacts me and holds me back: https://twitter.com/ellle_em/status/1263453229163167744?s=20

Therapists and psychologists told me I had Borderline Personality Disorder, or Bipolar Disorder...both of which I don't have. They were seeing symptoms of ADHD but because I "did well in school" they had to force the diagnosis into something else

By the way, the same thing happened to me with my OCD. Because my symptoms didn't look like the general cultural portrayal I never brought it up as an issue until I finally had a therapist tell me "hey uh this might be a thing you have."

But the point is, I think, ADHD shouldn't be synonymous with failure and failure shouldn't be the only metric by which we judge if someone has ADHD or not. Many of us find ways to "succeed" that are incredibly unhealthy and dangerous

And our "success" isn't actual success. It's knowing how to get the results other people judge as "success" without ever learning how to actually do the work. It's relying on tricks and lies to compensate for not being able to just DO things. It's being a good goddamn actor

For me, I was lucky enough to

-be a fast reader
-have a good memory for things I read (not anything else, but just...information I processed via reading)
-be a good writer

Those three things allowed me to fake being functional for most of my life

My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD last year because I refused to let them come at her with the same excuses they used on me

"Oh but [Child's Name] is really smart and she can control herself most of the time, she just doesn't do her homework, she CAN do the work there's nothing WRONG with her---"

I told them no. I forced testing. And she was diagnosed.