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"Adakah aku ready nak kahwin?"
Ni lah soalan yg perlu kita tanya kat diri sendiri if nak rumahtangga bahagia. Sometimes we see suami isteri cerai tak sampai setahun
Readiness is a good predictor
Jangan kahwin sebab nak kahwin. Get married because you are ready
Thread 1 of 8
Ni lah soalan yg perlu kita tanya kat diri sendiri if nak rumahtangga bahagia. Sometimes we see suami isteri cerai tak sampai setahun
Readiness is a good predictor
Jangan kahwin sebab nak kahwin. Get married because you are ready
Thread 1 of 8
Saya bukanlah menggalakan lambat kahwin. Tapi terlalu ramai yang kahwin sebab pressure, or just nak kahwin to feel validated, be loved.
If belum ready, tapi dah kahwin, then bila sedar sebenarnya belum ready, timbullah masalah.
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If belum ready, tapi dah kahwin, then bila sedar sebenarnya belum ready, timbullah masalah.
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Kalau tengok dari segi agama, perkahwinan memang digalakkan. But don't forget, only if mampu.
And even if mampu, kalau tak ready, tak boleh nak paksa. Nabi pun tak paksa. Kita selalu focus kat "cepat cepat lah kahwin". Tapi tak tengok aspek lain
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And even if mampu, kalau tak ready, tak boleh nak paksa. Nabi pun tak paksa. Kita selalu focus kat "cepat cepat lah kahwin". Tapi tak tengok aspek lain
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Kalau rasanya mampu DAN ready, that is a good predictor of a good, committed, stable marriage.
Kalau hanya mampu tapi tak ready, then will that be a good marriage?
Lagi satu, ready tu, perlu ready yg betul. Bukan ready dari segi "aku nak kahwin" je
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Kalau hanya mampu tapi tak ready, then will that be a good marriage?
Lagi satu, ready tu, perlu ready yg betul. Bukan ready dari segi "aku nak kahwin" je
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Mungkin my opinion is not a popular opinion. But I also based this on religion.
Agama ajar, kalau tak mampu nikah, puasa. Bila ada yang mampu but tak nak nikah sebab tak suka or tak serasi, then agama pun tak paksa. Kita masih ada choice.
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Agama ajar, kalau tak mampu nikah, puasa. Bila ada yang mampu but tak nak nikah sebab tak suka or tak serasi, then agama pun tak paksa. Kita masih ada choice.
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If you think its better for you to get married, especially boleh tutup jalan menuju kemaksiatan, then get married.
And if mampu but tak ready, tapi kahwin juga, then kena usahakan the marriage dgn cara yg terbaik. That readiness will come in time.
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And if mampu but tak ready, tapi kahwin juga, then kena usahakan the marriage dgn cara yg terbaik. That readiness will come in time.
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Sebab tu lah saya ckp benda ni.
Mak bapa makcik pakcik datuk nenek abang kakak kawan, janganlah pressure sangat budak tu supaya cepat2 kahwin. Kalau nak bagi nasihat or galakan, boleh. Tapi jangan pressure sangat. Kalau belum ready tapi kahwin juga, siapa susah?
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Mak bapa makcik pakcik datuk nenek abang kakak kawan, janganlah pressure sangat budak tu supaya cepat2 kahwin. Kalau nak bagi nasihat or galakan, boleh. Tapi jangan pressure sangat. Kalau belum ready tapi kahwin juga, siapa susah?
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As I said, this is not a popular opinion. But I hope what I said can open up your mind & make you at least think about it.
Jangan kahwin sebab nak kahwin je.
Marriage is good thing. But only if mampu dan ready.
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Jangan kahwin sebab nak kahwin je.
Marriage is good thing. But only if mampu dan ready.
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Reference:
Agnew, C. R., Hadden, B. W., & Tan, K. (2019). It’s About Time: Readiness, Commitment, and Stability in Close Relationships. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 10(8), 1046–1055. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550619829060
Agnew, C. R., Hadden, B. W., & Tan, K. (2019). It’s About Time: Readiness, Commitment, and Stability in Close Relationships. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 10(8), 1046–1055. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550619829060
Tambahan:
Readiness ni very subjective. Ada yg pentingkan career sebab baru kerja. Maybe ada priorities lain e.g. parents. Maybe belum ada keinginan. Sebab tu readiness is subjective, contextual. Everyone is different. Maybe cukup semua but tak ready. Jgn paksa "kebahagiaan org"
Readiness ni very subjective. Ada yg pentingkan career sebab baru kerja. Maybe ada priorities lain e.g. parents. Maybe belum ada keinginan. Sebab tu readiness is subjective, contextual. Everyone is different. Maybe cukup semua but tak ready. Jgn paksa "kebahagiaan org"
